Offering

My friend found out last year that her mom had cancer
She found out last week that her mother has a few weeks left to live

I can't offer much but
awkward hugs and thoughtful silences
because sometimes you don't want to speak

sweaty palms to clutch when you feel you've not enough strength to see you through even five more minutes of your day
a shoulder to catch falling tears
Inappropriate jokes and boisterous laughs to cut through pain
i listen to a soul lay bare
fears that there's not nearly enough time to apologize for hurtful words

Arrrrrr.I hate you right now

So really Dell
360 dollars
the hell
The plan was to post atleast 3 times a week
My computer is on strike
It works only when the ac adapter is plugged in and the battery is taken out...sometimes
That dont make a bit of sense
smh
Did i mention ive had this computer for less than a damn year
360 bucks
i could buy a whole new fuckin computer and buy me a damn snickers bar (im fiendin for them currently)

random tandem

remember when chicks in videos were ur average round the way cute chick

i miss that


obvious ass product placement annoys the fuck outta me


be a little more discreet



his name,
i can't recall at the moment
his ass,
will live on in infamy

Guy at the gym who i've only seen that once and who has yet to return
save me


I need friends who aren't tryna pimp me out to every Tyrone, Derrick, and Hakim who shows any bit of interest in me

I'm quite appreciative of the fact that my friends consist of many a midget.lol
Just makes me appear that much more statuesque




too bad for them tho
my boobs are inevitably in one of those bitches faces or... who the hell am i kidding??

i don't care


working on bootleg crap


id like to think im unique
but it wouldnt take but 4 seconds to profile me.
like my issues are fuckin profound

they might be

but they're also despicably common
and i'm one for boasting "im special"
words to fortify spirit that begged for some protein supplements.

She'll remain stoic in the face of jeers,
but cry tears of frustration over lost shoes
cuz even inanimate objects tend to fail her too

no suitor to climb a ladder that never rested outside her window sill
devoured trashy romance novels and Cosby show reruns like love began somewhere between yellowed pages and tv hugs

looked around to see if anyone could hear her heart beating eratically
Envisioning of passionate kisses somehow more lewd than any pornographic scene she'd stumble upon those late nights tryna figure what love would be like

Did this negro just.......

I stood there, bottom lip inches from the floor, purple thong in hand, lookin confused as all hell

Did this negro just proposition me?
*looking around to make sure he wasn't talkin to someone else"
The hell!?!?!?!
Not that i've never been propositioned before mind you (if you look halfway to female, some dude has tried to holla), but i refused to believe it
First off i'm pretty sure dude was born before the invention of the steam engine (one of your great grandpappys has probably tried to holla, thats not where the confusion comes in)
Second of all, Ain't your ass gay gay???!?!
He must've read my mind because the next words that came out his mouth were "I'm not gay"
I stood there trying to wrap my head around it
Mind you this negro looked like Paul Mooney and Little Richard had a baby...girl...in the year of our Lord 1503


I started thinking about all the times i went to the laundromat and he'd be smiling at me and kissing my hand and switching his skinny jean encased little butt past me
and he had the nerve to be straight

I felt bamboozled yall
I felt like he used my secret wish of a flamboyant gay fairy godmother against me
like a devious secret weapon

Blast it all to hell
is nothing sacred anymore?!?!?!?

i was gone for a minute now im back with the jumpoff

Testing... testing

The bitch is back
for real this time
Twitter could never replace this here love thing

So

I got new hairs







put on a few lbs (currently back at the gym cuz lookin like your smugglin human cargo ain't what's hot in these here streets)

been working on my writing...sorta

trying to enjoy life


What's it lookin like in your neck of the woods?

"aINT YOU TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT??!?!!?

hallow's eve steadily approaches
what to be?what to be?
where to go?
got ideas?

ima bootleg the costumes from crap i already have in my damn closet
cuz i am cheap
and its a recession
and i am cheap

i was thinkin bout a bootleg 40's femme fatale
or a bootleg gangsta ass superhero called Mclaren ofcourse

what yall doin?
How old is too old to do Halloween?
_____________________________________________

Callin females out their name cuz they dont wanna fuck every Tom,Dick, and Tyrone that utters a "hi ma"
Who still does that shit?
dudes who try to holla @ me on flatbush is who
smh
I woulda got gully but um
they was rollin in a pack
and you know how ninjas get when they rollin deep
and those Bruce Lee moves i practice in my head might not work out so well in real life
ya feel me right?
im still gangsta tho
______________________________________________

Peer pressure stopped workin on me somewhere around middle school
I wear what i want
say what i want
drink what i want when i want to
and manage to do all this without needing anybody's damn approval or cosign
*gasp*
mindblowing concept huh?
not really but some people havent gotten the hang of it yet
______________________________________________

Askin chicks over to the crib on your first "date"
le sigh
Why dudes keep tryna play me
Am I that chick?
thefuck??!?!!?
Received my third house date invitation yesterday
This from a guy who should definitely know better
The next guy who asks me that, its gonna be a wrap
Ima just be like. if you wanna fuck, just say you wanna fuck cuz this playin house shit on the first date thing will get you nowhere quick
i'd respect you more if you just said you wanna fuck
genuine, grade A, organic, no preservatives talk
______________________________________________

_

Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one

Repost


Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one

It's the ole haitian immigrant's bday

So yeah
i love the ole bag

like me, he's a straight shooter
He laughed his head off when i announced my plan to go on American Idol
(now i was joking but his black ass aint know that. ida got my feelings hurt if i was serious)

I don't know how good an idea it is to tell your kids that they were mistakes, but my dad always let me know that he took his role of father seriously but it wasnt a situation he went into willingly.

He asked my moms to get an abortion
She refused
He left
I came
He came back
and the rest as they say
is history

Theirs was never a love story
and pops was sure to let me know that
not out of any sense of cruelty
just to let me know that raising my black ass was something that had to grow on him

I was a few weeks old when he came back
(he wasnt there for my birth)


he aint want no damn babies
but he also aint want to have any of his damn babies running around not knowing their father either
so
he resigned himself to his fate

The home life was uh
riddled with colorful language

Those two bastards definitely did not need to be together
My dad left and came back atleast 10 times that i can remember

Despite all the drama, i always knew that he loved me
even though he refuses to jump in front of a moving car for me
refuses to take a bullet for me
refuses to pay for my future wedding
and refuses to pop and lock when i ask him to

but since he cried when i got in that car accident, ima give him a pass

one of my dads fave shows?


aww man
the memories


The pops..
sometimes i just dont get him

We (the lil bros, pops, and i) went to go see Bad Boyz II when it came out in theatres
figured his black ass would have to stay awake thru an action packed film right?
wrong
i kept having to elbow him awake

I finally gave up and just enjoyed the blasted film
then towards the end, he bursts out laughing hysterically
fuckin scared the bejesus outta me
apparently he found the scene where Martin ask the daughter's date if he's a virgin hilarious
huh?
all the shit u done missed snoring all up and through the movie but u gon blow out a lung over that?
watev

His nickname for me is Danounou
I hate for anyone else to call me that
but from pops its all good

Ive always called him by his first name
Augue
infact he said that was my first word actually
ima bit skeptical on that one

i get my height from the pops
he's 6'5"

His pops wasnt the kindest of folk
real strict and unmoving

He made sure he was the opposite with his kids

He's only whooped me twice that i can remember
One was for calling him stupid
man
that was the angriest he's ever been with me

i get my sarcasm and wit from him
(the movie star good looks too.lol)


i'd say: "i hate u"
he'd say: "yeah. until u want money" (he knows me so well)

i'd say: "i wish you were dead"
he'd say: "yeah. until you want money"

i'd say: "you're ugly"
he'd say: " yeah well. i got it from u"

i'd say: "im going to run away"
he'd say: "what's stopping you"

fastforward to today

i say: "i love you"
he says: "u need money?"

he says: "i love you"
i say: " no thank you. u can keep it"

he says: "(some crap that gets on my nerves)"
i say: "that's why you're not married"

he says: "Diana. can you iron this?"
i say: "That's why i need to marry you off"

i say: "pops can u hold this?"
he says: "ima progressive feminist. carry it yourself"


Can't you just feel the love?

awwww
he's not just the sperm donor

he's my dad

our relationship may not be family friendly sitcom worthy
but it's real
it's special

it's love


and he can beat up your dad any day of the week
im serious
dont make him get gangsta