GRENADA PART 1

i am extremely grateful for the folk God has put in my path lately. Folk who have helped me to see and expect much more for and of myself. This self improvement deal is indeed a damn journey but i'm the only one who can do it for me. Life provides no understudies. Those folk i mentioned God sprinkling across my path, some are sure to be lifelong friends. Some were folk i thought were friends but it seems were better served as acquaintances. One was a friend of a friend who challenged me to be more actual than potential. I've been really examining my life's course up til now and it is sooooo lacking in mountain peaks. Too many plateaus and valleys. I swear im working real hard on changing that. There's something about being immersed in nature that makes you realize what's important.

Currently in the beautiful country of Grenada. the scenery is spectacularly unexplainable. You really have to come see. Its been a series of hikes,boat rides, parties, and beach outings so far. (did i mention i get friggin sea sick? arrrrrrr). Met some wonderful people including a smartass little boy that refers to me as he-she 'cause apparently i'm too tall to be a woman. I think he has a crush on me. teasing is par for the course.


Pics are gonna have to wait cause my sd card is doing some funky stuff at the moment


Stay wonderful and inspired

July 23rd marked my 27th year on this planet. I came in screaming.The world shook it's head knowing it would never be the same. I'm alive and relatively happy. Have a lot to work towards but making moves in the direction i want my life to take everyday. Gonna put up some bday pics later.yeah i'm late. yall hoes can't sue me for money i aint got.lol


Guess where i'm typing this post from.....








GRENADA






(Feeling all How Stella Got Her Groove Back mixed with Sex and the City)

pic heavy post coming up tomorrow night

til then my adoring public

I love you but

I can't want more for you than you want for yourself
I shouldn't
I want you to know that i love you and i'm here for you always
Despite the fact that my mouth spews blunt intruments sometimes,
ill listen
Really listen
even when i can't understand
how it is you stay with him
when he talks down to you
screams at you in public
grabs you violently
insists that your love is so small that it can only encompass him
I want you to know that im here
because i love you
and I see more
better
so much better for you
And i'm waiting for your call

i be alive n stuff

hey...it's been a long time
shouldna left you
without a few posts to laugh through

aight here goes

I've been working on myself
spiritually
physically: doing the gym at least 3 times a week(lost 15 lbs woot woot :)
lost 1.5 cup sizes n some much loved ass cuppage :( womp womp)
been expanding my damn horizons bitches
taking dance classes
back to reading a book a week
and writing poetry
taking in plays, shows, concerts (more on that in two seconds)
being more social and open to what the universe has in store (even tho its steady tryna throw sexy midgets my way)

still single and gangsta

....and 0 for 3
i have no game. like none
now i dont do subtle well
(or is it that ive mastered that heifa so well, folk cant even detect it?)
and my flirting is still in that 'elementary school, punch you in the damn arm, cant you see i love you nigga' territory
and when i get frustrated i just be like " so yeah.i like you. call me hoe" or " so yeah hoe. i like you. call me" lol

and i end up staring at the damn phone

and grilling all the damn midget heifas that be walking around with my tall mens
did i mention that the devil steady throwin sexy midgets in my path?
and i refuse to believe me lookin like a damn transvestite
arm in arm with some pretty midget motherfucker is in The Plan

arrrrrrrrr

look here universe
i aint finna be no damn 30 yr old virgin
hurry the fuck up!!!!!

i went to see Ledisi and Eric Benet at the Beacon wednesday
and sonnnnnnnn
twas muy excellente!!!

I had on my gangsta open back yellow maxi dress that is my go to sexy casual look ;)
maybe i had on drawers. maybe i didn't
youll never know

went with Jmac (that's one midget im happy to have around cause i wasnt finna go alone.i probably woulda ended up giving the other ticket to some random homeless person to have company)
My boo Eric was lookin quite dapper in his slim fit suit. yum
Tho Jmac kept laughin at his bootleg gyrations
im mad he sounds so pretty tho
Why this negro can hit notes i can't tap with a football field full of voice coaches?
Tamia made a surprise guest appearance (soooo pretty)

Never seen Ledisi live before and mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
i love Eric but
Ledisi. what??!?!?!?
straight killed it man
First she came out in some silver dress that me n Jmac were both plotting to steal
The energy was crazy. Her stage presence was beyond incredible
She was funny,adorable, sexy, and silly all at once
My favorite portion of the concert was the set she did in these metallic blue tights and this gangsta leather jacket (short in back long infront) that ima rob her for if i should ever catch her in these here streets

Me and Jmac were discussing the uncanny resemblance.lol
i swear Ledisi's stage persona is me if i could friggin sing
complete with scatting, facial ticks, gangsta walk, and voice changes
Jmac was looking at me like "Bitch, she stole your act"

i'll definitely catch her again

had to leave right away cause Jmac had to get some damn sleep
I tell you it hurt tho, cause i sure did see some sexy chocolate in the lobby
and i put a lil extra in the strut incase any were lookin.lol

Maybe ill see one of them
In the Morning
to love me
love me
love me ee

lol

Bleh
ive been going through youtube vids all afternoon and im seriously contemplating doing the big chop again.
I feel like i need a damn change
and cutting my hair is a heck of a lot easier than losing those extra 20 lbs
we'll see
either that or ima start rockin some gangsta ass long poetic justice braids


Ima be headed to the bowery poetry club tomorrow night for 8pm if anyone's down


ive been tryna write but my head's not in it right now

To be honest, im sorta fuckin depressed
please dont give me no bullshit about how it could be worse
I know that
lemme wallow in this self pity shit right now because that's where i need to be

tho it would help if you wanted to tell me the shit u got goin wrong in ur damn life
or buy me a drink


im bout to go listen to some Luther

Life

Said she lived life with no thought to consequences
Her journey dedicated to risk
Her body, an intricate mural,
besides it'd make it easier to identify her when the time came
Death visited her every night in her dreams
So she spent her every waking moment chasing it