random tandem

I never believed in Santa Clause
I figured no grown fat ass white man can be climbing all up and down friggin chimneys and riding off into the moonlight with no friggin reindeer damnit
yet i somehow believed my cousin when she told me the line i had running down my stomache was the result of an alien abduction and subsequent experimentation
might have had something to do with all those Unsolved Mysteries episodes i was watching

Did anyone else watch the Untouchables?


What you know bout Duncan McLeod?
(That's Highlander for you uninformed)

Tell me why my 20 year old cousin did not know that Egypt was in the continent of Africa. I stared at him like: Motherfucker no u did not!!!!!!!!wonder how many other folk don't know that



I can't recall the last time i went to sleep without having my slowjams playing,
Cool Out Corner type stuff



CARPE SCROTUM SON!!!!!!!!!!!

this shit is no holds barred
so ima use the death grip to start
one hand grippin life's balls
the other seizing his heart

2008 is gon be my year. cover of People here i come



John Walsh is that man and he got the sexy voice.



speaking of John Walsh, i used to straight live off America's Most Wanted

be staring at the faces talkin bout: yo Christ don't that look like Mr. Thompson if he dyed his hair blonde and lost 20 pounds. I think your teacher is a serial-killer-fugitive, son.



if you get caught up with a kidnapper or some other crazy, imbalanced, sick individual, NEVER, I repeat NEVER let yourself be taken from crime scene 1 to crime scene 2. Chances of survival reduce drastically when this happens.



I figure if ima get got, your punk ass betta off me right here at the first crime scene. Fuck. I ain't makin shit easy for you. I'm kickin, puchin, bitin, jabs to the jugular, i'm crushin toes, I'm yellin fire,i'm kickin balls, leavin behind a mess of your blood, and hair. fuck that I'm pullin out my own strands so they catch your ass CSI style.





Am i the only one who's never been to the circus?



Near-death-looking old men in red pimp suits complete with cane have no business tryna talk to me. Apparently they haven't figured this out yet. What the hell ima do with your old dried up ass?

speakin of old dried up ass
I AM NEVER DOIN CRACK. Not that it was in my plans or anything but after seeing what these crackheads be doin for a hit....WTF???!!!!
that shit has grown men sneaking into back alleys to give blowjobs for an ounce of powder. That'd scare me straight (no pun intended)FUCK that shit.

random tandem

Nature Valley honey and oats granola bars are crack

I'm so friggin glad the semester's about to be done. School is getting on my damn nerves

Still not sure what route i'm takin

i think that cocoa butter crap is a myth. I been using it and the scars on my legs are still friggin there from when i busted my ass on that treadmill

Somehow he couldn't understand the words NOT INTERESTED or when i said I'D RATHER BE GAY

I actually like workin out now

i still can't eat right for shit tho
speaking of eating and shit

that two girls one cup shit had me dyin (what the fuck were they on?)

I watched CNN'S: CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute
that shit had me crying
good and bad tears
had me contemplating what i wanna do with my life too

I always said i wanna have atleast two careers
one being teaching

I didn't workout as hard as i shoulda today
i was being a lazy muhfuka

i really wish i could sing
i'm a mediocre alto
aint got the pipes
destined to be in the choir
no solo here

I Just Want To Be Close To You-Maxi Priest has been stuck in my head all week

still single
i'm fine with that but if i'm writing the same shit 30 years from now it's gon be a problem

i have a number of shoes in my friggin closet that have never seen the light o day
i keep buying them anyway
i walk around the house with them tho
no. i'm not crazy

People don't seem to get my obsession with sweats
THEY'RE FRIGGIN COMFORTABLE BASTARD
what more do i have to say