get me bodied

"I ain’t worried doin me tonight
A little sweat ain’t never hurt nobody"

I did the sports conditioning crap today and i'm all tapped out
went into the locker room to change and couldn't even lift up my arms they felt so heavy.
i just said fuck it and slowly pulled on my jacket and walked outta there.
the soreness is a good thng tho
i know im doin shit right.

Friday is endurance training
ugh
Truth is i actually like working out once i get to the gym
but it takes all the energy in the world for me to actually head out the damn house

I don't know what the hell i was thinking when i said i was gon do the ING marathon this year
I musta been on somea that good shit
but ima get my number in 2009 for sure

it's 1 something in the morning
im too braindead to write a long ass post or be my witty self so ima say peace for now

I'll add to this crap lata today

I'm baaaaaaaaack

aight

Ima homebody for the most part. Won't catch me at the club every other weekend. I do me. u do u. (I've been to the club exactly 4 times)

Last time was two Saturdays ago for my homegirl Alyssa's b-day.
I had fun. Friends, Music, dancing. It was all good for the most part. Maybe i haven't been on the clubscene often enough to know club etiquette but

1) atleast ask a bitch to dance. DON'T JUST BE GRABBIN ON MY ARM MOTHERFUCKER. Liable to get your black ass killed.
(I aint gon lie tho. There was this one dude actin a damn fool, but he was cute and funny with his so i let it go. What you want me to say??He was good-lookin dammit. I'm allowed to make exceptions)

2) If i bless you with the opportunity to dance with yours truly, follow my lead. Read my friggin body language. I'll let you know how far ima go. Don't fuckin pull that shit on me you was doin to that heifa over there. No you tryna bend me over and shit.
(I was dancing with this dude and all was good until some reggae come on. I mean i got bootleg hype too cuz dj had kinda killed the mood playing some slow ass American Gansta joint for too long so when the reggae beat came on I was ready to do my thing. This motherfucker however, thought it was the perfect time to assault me with his hips. Fuck man. Where the finesse at? I got my heels on and shit. Calm the hell down. Jack rabbit ass. (How much you wanna bet that's how he is in the bedroom the no signal-reading, flo jo hip-movin, premature ejaculatin-sucka)
So i just had to flip it on him and give him somea that shit back on some "yeah nigga. what u want?" type mess. I think he kinda got scared.Didn't know what the hell to do. Serves his ass right.

3) If you can't dance, what bizness you have askin me? You aint gotta be no Fred Astaire or nothing. But PLEASE. Stop stompin all over my feet. Sure they a size 10.5Don't mean they don't feel pain idiot

4) As evidenced above if you're cute and funny or not so cute and funny, you can get away with more shit. Not if you think your funny. Only if you actually make me laugh. Otherwise proceed with caution.

5) You just look a fool standing all the way over there glancing at me every five seconds. You wanna dance? ask. Don't be doin that stalker shit. It aint a good look. What you want me to do? Go over there and ask you? uh huh. So you really aint gon ask a sistah to dance but wanna stare all night? Whatever do you. Just don't try no mess when i'm tryna take my ass home. I got a tazer in my purse. Well maybe i do, maybe i don't. Do you really wanna take that chance?

6) Just cuz we was dancing does not mean i am now your girlfriend, fuck buddy, or wifey. Needy ass, attachment-disorder motherfucker
The song is over. You can leave me alone now. Why the hell you mean-muggin cuz i'm dancin with this dude?



ps:Fresh, ima answer ur question tomorrow.

rhymes revisited-Summertime

summertime and the living is easy
no
let me spit the truth
summertime and the living is hard
sure the fish are jumping but the cotton is high so im in the fields back bent to breaking
body for the taking but they sure won't get my soul
Some say they can't understand my faith and how in these circumstances i manage to seem like im whole
i say cuz i
know my chariot's coming forth to carry me home
and since i dont expect the Lord to do for me what i'm not willing to do for myself
Ima be wading in them waters soon enough, stars to guide me and prayers to keep my skin tough but my heart soft
never hardened
tho they tried to shake me and for sure thought they would break me
im still here
soon to be.... somewhere over there
Told somea the folk i trust to keep me in their prayers
Her ma is good lookin and her daddy's rich
yet they're telling her not to cry
I've cried so much i'm all out of tears.
Wells no longer spring forth from my eyes so the the only crying i'm doin is from that place deep inside
But ima rise up one of these mornings singing,
spirit souring so it skims the heavens and dances with clouds in the sky
_____________________________________________

I was so excited the summer before junior high until my 'uncool factor' was unceremoniously thrust into my face
I know it's hard to believe but i was so NOT cool in junior high. Yeah i know ur staring at the screen with your mouth gaping open and evertything. SON...i was all tall and skinny and awkward. Hold up. It gets worse. i was the skinny, tall Haitian kid who had fucked up teeth from suckin her finger. Hadn't gotten rid of that accent she acquired from living in Haiti for three years.Hardly ever matched and never owned one pair of jordans until 8th grade. On top of that was quiet and kept to herself
Them kids in Sheepshead don't fuck around
hmmm
i got jumped twice
got in a coupla fights
was talked about on a consistent basis
i was Haitian so u know i had HBO(haitian body odor) or was carryin AIDS smdh
had a thing of gasoline thrown at me
got wood thrown at me after wood shop almost every wednesday of my second year in junior high
got pushed into oncoming traffic
do i really need to go on?

Kids can be fucked up which is why i dont buy into that 'kids will be kids' mess
I mean serial killers were kids once too right?
just sayin....
___________________________________________



When u gaze into my eyes,
tell me wat is it that you see?
They say the eyes
are the windows to the soul
Then brotha if so...
can u look past the rough edges
and hard lines
can you use your
x-ray vision to see
wat truly lies behind
the gangsta swagga and rolling of eyes
the making of me
Can you see into years past
to that scratched up table in the back
where she sits
head bowed praying
sometimes internally and at others
quietly but out loud
asking the lord
and other times saying
Dear lord can you hear me?
It's Diana
this life ain't always easy
the kids u know they tease me
have me sitting in the back alone
all
uneasy
can't quite figure out why they don't like me
must be cuz i aint got those timbs
or cuz my jeans are just too short for my limbs
could very well be cuz my jordans are two years old
this year got me beat down more than two-fold
and my home life you know its crazy
contemplated suicide
considered the maybes
didn't wanna go to hell
plus the voice in the bathroom said
put the razor down baby
So before you dismiss me
as a hardass bitch being pissy
look past the lies my mouth tells
search my eyes for that place where
truth
dwells
_____________________________________


Forbidden love was the name
I was a little black girl that lived two blocks down
from the cutest hasidic Jewish boy you ever did see (i imagine he musta been as cool as Matisyahu)

that summer, I stared longingly from my apartment window towards the general vicinity of his house.
I lived in the Midwood section of brooklyn
coupla blocks one way and you had the Jewish folk with the big ass houses
coupla blocks the other way and you found youself in the heart of ghetto ass Flatbush(said with love.FLATBUUUUUUUUUUUSH)
Anyway. I was bootleg friends with his lil sister. We'd say hi and play together on the sidewalk occasionally
{I know a lot of folk that got shit to say bout the Jews (i know that sounds bad. Insert: white person- "I know a lot of folk that got shit to say bout the Blacks but they're some of the coolest people i know)
but the ones i've known were nice as all hell
Folk need to stop hatin on my jew brothers and sisters
Why you mad they got the mansion? Step your game up}
Alas unrequited love is a bitch
oh and he's married now
it's sad. He coulda had him alladis...lol

My boy Matisyahu

Ramblings of a Lunatic

I know yall probably had enough of the period talk last time but...
am i the only one who threatens to throw bloody pads at folk?
for real tho. Why the fuck i gotta be pmsing if i'm mad??? Im just fucking mad.
Man if you reference PMS one more time ima wait til i'm on the rag (do folk say this besides me?) and throw a bloody one right in your face
Yeah i'm crass
sue me. I'm broke tho, so u aint gettin much.


You know what else i can't stand? Folk who be like " Smile ma. Why you look so mad?"
What the fuck they think this is? Wisteria Lane?
Who walks around friggin smiling beside crazy folk?
This is brooklyn bitch. I be mean muggin for a reason. It filters out somea the less brave souls from actin a fool but....ugh. Unfortunately, the dumber or braver souls still wanna come at me with dumb shit.
Why'd this dude ask me if i smoke weed outta the blue?
Is that his idea of a friggin pickup line?
no1 what the fuck?
no2 Do i look like a weed head? ( no offense to any of you that may indulge. do u. i mean it aint no worse than them cancer sticks)
no3 You'd think the look of disgust i gave him woulda made him shut the hell up but no
the dumb fuck proceeded to tell me he could get me the hook up

Sad thing is, even if a nice dude did approach me, i'm so sick of getting the bullshit, i aint even gon be giving him the time of day

Facebook friends
I got quite a few of them
You know what i mean. You don't talk on the phone. Mighta never even met in person. Have no regular correspondence. They just added you cuz u looked familiar and u did the same shit cuz u was nosey.(well that's what i do)Exchanged maybe two messages.
Well i saw a bootleg Facebook friend on the street the other day.
This is some chick i knew from junior high. We weren't even really friends but i digress. So anyway, I saw her and i wasn't sure what to do. To say hi or not to say hi. Well watever. I didn't. The moment passed. But i felt stupid. How u gon have someone in ur friend's list but can't say hi when you see them on the friggin street?

Random: remember when we used to refer to dick and pussy as pencils and sharpeners?
Man. Thought the shit was all risque...lol. oooh you let him put his pencil inside your sharpener.lol
aaaah the good old days

fuck it. i don't even know why i wrote random there. This whole post is random. NEXT

My ass is sore
get yall minds out the gutter
I did the stairmaster yesterday and the sports conditioning class today and my ass is on fire


Ima pretty average lookin chick. Nothing that'll make you do a double take or be like " damn son. how'd you land her?" (This is where yall cry out in protest and start thinking: What the hell she talkin bout? chick is fyah.lmao)
If i had to rate myself, I'd say im bout a five. right smack in the middle. You won't go running if you see me coming down the street or nothing but if i was the bootleg love interest in a video you'd be like: "What this chick doing on my screen?" I don't think i'm the shit (but honestly, i'm so cool, i won't discount the possibility)
So when i hear folk commenting on celebrities or other folk talking bout " She looks ugly." or "She justa 'around the way chick' (insert schreeching halt here)
I will never call someone ugly who i know looks a helluva lot betta than me. Some other folk tho, aint got the sense i do. First off you just come across as a hater. Second. What you gon say when someone tells you to look in the damn mirror?
Yeah she coulda chose a betta outfit and she shouldn't have let Shanequalashae do her hair but atleast she don't look like a cross between Gollum and Quasimodo
I'm just sayin...

You know how some folk got that one moment they wanna do over?
Go back and alter the course of things.
Well i wanna go back to third grade.
I know. ur thinking: Whatnahell coulda happened in the third grade to effect me so?
A spelling bee son
I got up there all ready to kill it
They asked me to spell climbed
I just knew i had it.
"Climbed. C-L-I-M-E-D. Climbed"
oh man i was mad at myself after that
I'm convinced that that incident is the source of my stage fright issues.
i mean i lost on round one!!!!!! The first friggin word they gave me!!!!
I had been spelling much bigger words than that but i wanna go and fuck up the moment of truth
and No
I don't let shit go

Don:I guess what I want to ask is what is your greatest fear?

Man i think my greatest fear is settling for mediocrity
Being afraid to do me and not living up to my potential
Kinda vague i know cuz a lotta things can fall under this

second greatest fear u ask? (actually u didn't but ima volunteer anyway)
getting kidnapped by some old white dude. Fuck that shit
That happens and i know it's a wrap.

p.s.
im mad i only got 2 comments on the 'u asked, i answered' post
get to commenting bastards

What u know about that?

I'm 5'10.5" tall. This is the just woke up measurement. I shrink as the day goes on
I weigh 185 lbs. Never was one to care bout the number so much as the shape/ fit of clothes but i'm mad i weigh more than mosta the guys i know.
I am Haitian American. I love my heritage, culture, history, etc. but i need to know hella more. I'm tryna do a family tree. A fuckin mess i tell you. These negroes be like the KGB actin like they the keepers of the hope diamond or something. Keeping they mouths shut. I got quite a few family hos tho. Side children out the wazoo (who the hell says that?)
I am the eldest of my parents' three children. Also known as mistake no1. Two other mistakes were to follow in the course of 8 years.
I am a daddy's girl. My dad is like my bootleg best friend. sorta kinda? I talk to him bout almost everything.
Aside: I watched porn for the first time about two years ago. I was going through the closet and found my dad's stash of ancient 70's/ 80's porn flicks. So of course i popped them shits into the vcr. Am i the only one who cares bout the acting??!! It was horrible yall. Nyway, i put the crap back in the closet but forgot one in the vcr and went my ass to sleep. So apparently i ejected it but forgot to put it with the other shit (it was some lesbian mess by the way which in and of itself aint a thing but combine that with my liberal views, my stance on gay marriage, my characteristic abrasiveness and the fact that me and my brothers share clothes... well let's just say my dad be giving me the side eye sometimes). my dad saw the shit sticking out the vcr and was like " Diana, you forgot ...." and he didn't finish the rest cuz he gave me this wtf look. I was mortified yall. I managed not to faint or die of laughter. I was stuttering and shit, tryna make up some crap but i eventually just said. uh yeah i was curious. Never seen one before. Right about now you're probably thinking " why the hell is she tellin me all this?" Well i forgot one more thing about me. I'm insane. Next. Where was I? okay back to awkward porn discovery moment. Suffice it to say that was one of the most mortifying moments of my life. In an attempt to preserve whatever little sanity i have left, my subconscious blocked out the resulting conversation.


Apparently i come across as abrasive, harsh, bitter, what have you. Yes i can be sarcastic as hell. Yes i curse like a drunk horny sailor just come on shore after three long months hella excited to hit up the brothel (who the fuck says brothel?). Yes im quick with the wit and stay with the smartass comeback. Yes i'm aggressive and blunt BUT....

I'm one of the nicest folk you'll ever meet (as long as you're not getting on my damn nerves).
I'm bout as close to an empath as i can probly get. I feel things deeply son. A real emotional chick. I cry at movies. Cry while watching PBS documentaries, cry at Feed the Children commercials, books, pictures. You friggin name it.
I will still busta cap in folks ass if they wanna act a damn fool tho.

Commencing with the tmi stuff. I got my first period in the 7th grade during a bootleg party for spanish class. My stomache was hurting and i assumed it was diarhhea but alas, it was the dreaded red curse. (OKay whynahell were the girls in my fifth grade class making periods sound cool?!!!? Fucking idiots. You bleed like a friggin stuck pig for 5-7 days. Why the fuck where they all smiling and excited and shit. They had a sistah fooled. I was actually anticipating it.Then reality smacked me upside my uterus. (My mother apparently never got cramps and she had the nerve to tell me i got them cuz i walked around the house barefoot...These Haitians and their non-medical explanations. Please find me a medical journal where they show that walking around without slippers gives you cramps cuz ima have to give my mom that million bucks i owe her) Have a happy period my ass. or maybe my vagina is more appropriate. Bitches smiling and wearing white and floating around in the air and shit.

no i'm not pmsing

Ima stop now
Ima finish this up tomorrow
ask any questions u want a bk chick to answer

Don: sorry bout not answering ur question man
i'll add that tomorrow

Yes We Can

u asked, i answered

like a single drop that ripples outwards, presence felt for miles
i want my life to have meaning
i want my spirit to move you
i want my essence to make you want to
draw closer and
i want my soul to make moves
like beat cops patrolin
want to immerse you in me
like wells
want you to fall in
but no need for callin
unless it's cuz you wanna be deep in me forever





What is the major inspiration for your work?
There's no one thing. I find inspiration in a number of different things such as music, other poetry
dance, a moving documentary, a picture.


I know that you're saying that you might be that old lady shacked up with 50 cats without a special someone. Does that scare you?? What type of man would be ideal for you?
The old lady thing does scare me son. Some folk don't have a problem never getting married or being single at 75. That aint my black ass. That'd be a major component of having my life be 'complete' so to speak.
I see myself with them 10 kids and i kinda need a man for that. yao Ming? but yeah...spinster aint a good look for me
My ideal man is one is someone who i can talk about the most mundane shit with and then get all deep and philosophical.
HONESTLY, I place a high premium on good conversation. If you look like Will Smith. (and Lord knows i love me some Fresh Prince: life after bel air)but the convo is dead, ima have to chuck the deuces somewhere in the vicinity of your damn head. Next we got the funny. Humor is fuckin sexy and if you combine that with profanity and a large vocabulary? i'm done. Well sorta...To complete the recipe add 2 cups of sarcastic, 1 cup agressive, a shitload of respect and honesty. All that good stuff
Now we get to the physical. I'd prefer this man come in an atleast 6'3" package. Stocky build (i aint no small chick, what i'm 'posed to do with a skinny dude? lol..no offense to yall skinny men. GET UR WEIGHT UP.)
All colors of the rainbow can cut it from 'burple' (i got this from someone elses blog. cant remember who right now)to casper white, but i got a thing for dark chocolate in particular.
His feet have to be bigger than mine...lol. Ummm this aint as easy as it sounds
everything else is up in the air
tho a man with some dreadlocks...

How long have you been writing? Umm since about the 3rd grade. Swore i was gonna have a book out by now. Umm yeah. that aint goin down anytime within the next decade. Procrastination is the root of all evil. ok maybe just the root of all my problems. CAMP HORRORHILL was my first attempt at a novel (friggin goosebumps knockoff) after that, shit just fell off.

Do you ever think you'll bring that wall down? Probably not. Maybe gradually? ummmm me don't really know. Hopefully tho. It won't come tumbling down. More like a gradual displacement of brick and mortar

...and ooh what did you think of 2 girls/1 cup LMAO!!
GIRL. Them bitches musta been on some shit. pun intended. WTF?!?!?!!?
I shut it off the first time, but i had to finish it. Womanned up and went for the kill. Disgusting. Fuckin ridiculous. i was like " no bitch. what u doin? ooooooo put it back in!! put it back in!!!! oh no. the crazy bitches is eatin it.
After callin them all types of stupid, i prayed for their souls. ebola-carryin mother fuckers

Ray Charles was the man
dont fuckin laugh
i had a crush on him

i love this version

When he said GEORGIA, he really meant Diana

unanswered questions

yeah i know i been mia for a bit
and no i aint even posting the answers yet
my computer is actin a bitch right now
had to order a new adapter (im currently using my brother's laptop)

truth be told i been kinda lazy plus school is back in session so.....yeah
you'll live. Ill get to answering the questions sometime next week

by the way my new nickname is Phinaeus

here's some poems i did freshman year of high school
laugh and ill cut you
______________________________________________

i'm sittin here

watching them

watching him look at her

and not me

watching him talk to her

and

not

me

all this bullshit is driving me insane

bet ya he can't even remember my name

i mean come on i can't look that bad

not even with all the

pimples i have

sure my hair is short

and sure

it's nappy

but what should that matter if i make him happy

sure on the outside i may seem shy as a mouse

but once you get to know me my mouth's as big as a house

sure my tits may not be as

big as hers

sure my waistline ain't as

small as hers

and sure my hair ain't as

long as hers

i'm not her

i'm me

and thats why

i sit here

watching him look at her

watching him

laugh with

Her
__________________________________

i'm done i'm finished

my spirit diminished

the lies and the hurt

the screams in my head

sometimes i honestly wish i was dead

wish i was gone to a place far from here

where my spirit is free and there's no pain to bear

where it don't even matter

the clothes that i wear

the length of my hair

the size of my cup

if my butt is up

but alas i'm in a world where they care 'bout that shit

so i have to wait cause right now

this is it

______________________________________

i go back and read my old stuff
cringe
reread then laugh
That's teen angst forya


alas?
if my butt is up?

What the hell was ole girl thinking?