voices from beyond

Otherwise known as
i did not write this shit
otherwise known as guest blogger crap

You'll see one of these every thousand years







I logged into my FB account and my good friend asks me if I know of any places hiring. Hell No! You see my phone is off! How am I supposed to know of any prospective jobs if I cant even keep up with the cheapest phone plan out there? This phone company is even kinder because it cheerfully lets my callers know that my broke ass has been DISCONNECTED. Fully ensuring and entombing me in the shame and embarrassment that has been following me for the past...heck I lost count. Spent my last $20 on cigs. Fuck you if you're judging. That $20 wouldnt have paid for my phone bill and I aint going nowhere anytime soon. "blows smoke out in non-seductive way* It could have been worse. I could have bought the cigs and some cheap vodka. This has been done before but Im one of those "social drinkers" and I cant call anyone to "socialize" with. You can now see the dilemma.

Two things about the smoking. a) I used to be part of Truth. You know that anti-smoking campaign with the super lame super dumb commercials? I was all up in that. Did the marches, worked the field, went to events. Now I tell my peoples it was anti-teen smoking and Im an ADULT but they're not having it.
b) I started smoking with my ex's child's mother the day she came over to my house and told me his snakelike ways. Not that Im blaming her of course, she's a new close friend and smoking in my family is a rite of passage. Like becoming bankrupt.

So here I am post breakup and broke. Surprisingly enough I have a Valentines Day date. Even had 3 offers. This guy is not even my type. READ=Not a LOSER. I guess things are looking up compared to the past several years with my unromantic husband and the slew of nimrods before him. V day Date tells me to dress up in a state that surpasses Applebees wear (Do I HAVE anything to wear that bests Applebees? He's giving me too much credit!) And he will be picking me up in a motor vehicle which I am quite sure has no outstanding warrants and tickets on it. *takes a shot of Absolut* Things are looking up my people! Wish me luck!

stream of consciousness

niggas wanna play at shit like its a fuckin game
not takin time to realize that this world
for some
is little more than the streets
that hollow
like the barrel of that gun from which bullets expelled
like bullets ringing
aimed at life
hearts stopped
fists clenched
guerilla warfare
playin at being gangsta when they had a choice
heart hardened years of pain
daddy gone
village burned
women raped
crack epidemic
sweeping streets
six siblings nothing to eat
pick ur motherfuckin side nigga
somehow evolved into blood in blood out
i aint had no fuckin choice nigga
needed someone to have my back nigga
cuz wasn't nobody there
but you wanna play like u know life on the streets
like you can recall
those cold rainy days
as u slept on that parkbench cuz home
home was little more than four walls
behind which
the most gruesome shit went down
mama spreading legs for that next hit
visiting daddy behind them prison walls
wachya know bout pain nigga
wachya know bout
nothing in the fridge but water
and bread
wachya know bout
water and cereal cuz u couldnt afford no damn milk
children lined up waiting on relief
rice and cornmeal to get you thru the week
tell me when you saw your brother get shot down
bullet between the eyes
when you held his body couldnt hardly make out his damn head
tell me motherfucker
tears streaming down cuz now
now u really are alone
cuz u playin at shit that i done experienced
seen
no need for rap lines, video games, movie screens
were u there?
did you see the carbomb go off
did you see the bodies fall
hear the ringing of bullets
feel your soul leave
as you heard the thud
of his 6 foot four frame
hitting the concrete floor
body parts amidst ash and rubble
choose a side nigga they said
i didnt have no fuckin choice
soldier
didnt wanta be
had the choice wouldnt wanna be
but the choice was taken from me
choose sides nigga
blood in blood out nigga