Music: vernacular of the soul


dj

Monday, August 30, 2010

I remember

I remember...
Shit
What don't i remember? Kinda hard to forget the day you realized your mother might just be crazy. There were other instances to follow .You know, just in case the crazy wasn't evident enough and i needed a little more convincing. Apparently someone upstairs didnt hear me cry uncle for the 5th time in as many damn years.
Where was I?
I stood there, mouth hanging open as if my jaw had become unhinged, eyes staring out the kitchen window, hoping my mind was somehow playing tricks on me. "No this bitch didn't."(i only thought those words of course. I valued my life.Maybe value's too strong a word there but i wasnt ready to meet my maker just yet. That'd be some fucked up shit)
I keep going off in tangents
Yesh
Staring in utter disbelief as my mother nonchalantly chucked armfuls of my shit out the damn kitchen window.
"Mommy, what are you doing?!?!!!"
"Nothing"
"Mommy.Stop it!"
"It's okay Diana"
Thats when i saw her reach for my bag.
What bag?
The same bag that had held all my textbooks, my senior pictures and my senior dues
yes that bag
"Mommy, you can't throw that out. My school books are in there."
"Okay.I wont" she says, as she removes my textbooks from the bag
and then... proceeds to throw every single one out our kitchen window like she had bookmarked the pages with her damn senses and shit

19 public opinion:

The Jaded NYer said...

WOW.

Thanks for sharing. I hope you continue on with this. Sometimes writing it out helps you let go of it (if you haven't already)

buttahflychronicles said...

My son once did something tragically awful when he was 10 years old. He showed no signs of remorse, and it was obvious that I wasn't going to get any support from his sadistic father. I emptied his room onto the sidewalk to express how I felt about the whole situation. I slamed my front door. He and his father picked up his things and drove away. When he called to apologize 2 days later I hung up in his face. 2 days after that when I said it was time for him to come home he was very relieved. Point made. He hasn't behaved so outwardly since then, nor have I had to have such a strong reaction. Even a year after the event he apologized again. Whole heartedly that time. I don't think I'm THAT crazy, but the situation took me there. Now, lesser situations that get just as strong reactions on a frequent basis make you appear nuts. And maybe your mother was just trying to prove her point the wrong way. But maybe there are some chemical imbalances as well. Be strong.

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