On this day July 23

24 years ago
I entered the world
and all was well
lol




lil dej




lil bigger dej




big dej


Happy Bornday to me
Happy bornday to me
Happy borndday to me ee
haapy bornday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


where's my damn gifts?
they better be on their way

pondering

im not sure if im gonna weave it up for my bornday or rock the fro yet
wat yall think?

still havent figured out wat im wearing yet

kellz, harem pants dont do me justice either hon so thats a hell no.lol

u know wat
ur pants may be just a tad too short if i can see half ur booty meat struggling to free itself from ur shorts

if ur pants so loose that u gotta walk spread-eagle to keep them shits off the floor
go shoot urself

if u can't walk in heels
uh
u just can't
wobblin all over the place
a broken ankle aint a cute look


why do all the "special" folk in the club gravitate towards me?

why i waved at this lil girl the other day and she kicked out her foot like "bitch please dont make me kick ur ass"

why did a raccoon stare at me for seconds yesterday?


was doing some canvassing in the Marcy projects yesterday
sigh
why would u wanna fuck up ur own spot?
pee in the elevators
check
trash in the stairway
check
tagged up walls
check

atleast have sense enough to not shit/pee where u sleep


Why is my Brown Sugar dvd fucking up every 5 seconds?

Why do mosquitoes always manage to get me in the weirdest places
ass crack
baby toe
armpits
inner ear

these some fuckin stealth mutant shits

a bitch has needs

no im not talkin bout sexy time but now that im on the subject,

a bitch needs that shit too

when i get that feeling i want sexual healing
sexual healing
oh baby

i got this virgin thing on lock and seems like its gonna be that way a while yet
because
wtf.
slim pickings n shit

aww it's just too bad ur dumb as fuck cuz that ass would be so perfect to hold onto while.....

aww thats sad. ur tryna be funny and it's not working

and dont think it's possible to be any drier and this look on my face is signalling u to shut the fuck up but u cant read that shit either and

im gone

oh well

where was i?

masturbation?
no no
sorry

shopping. yeah thats it
i need to go shopping

got some new shoes
wanna see?




saw?

the heels are a good six inches and me being the height whore that i am...i could not refuse

*insert maniacal laughter*

6'4" here i come
for real yall im a 6' tall amazon trapped in this 5'10" body and it's fuckin killin me
2 blasted inches

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


oooh chile lemme find someone sexy who still towers over me(okay maybe not towers.literary license yall)when i got them shits on
*drools*

i need to figure out what to rock with them
im not sure if they pass muster enough to be my bornday shoes yet
offer outfit suggestions
especially yall fashion savvy broads and bros

got a few bootleg pieces of jewelry too






that will be all


countdown to the most important day of the year commencing now
(july 23 for yall who don't know)

pregnant pause

pregnant
with pauses
ankles swollen under the weight of unsung melody and yet-to-be born metaphor,
she's tired
stretchmarked to make room for sweet simile and alliteration
itll be over soon

(cant wait to get over this writer's block. need to induce labor stat)
______________________________________________________________________


Why the fuck is everyone poppin out kids?
why??!?!?!?!?
dammit
messin up the whole flow
shiiiiid
ur wide ass cant go nowhere
more like wont
lazy bastard
so what ur back hurts?
get over it
ur ankles swollen?
boo hoo bitch
walk it off

why u want a lil parasitic alien baby anyway?
they fuckin feed off u n shit
punchin u i the intestines n shit
stay still bastard
damn parasites
dont like what im sayin?
tough


*secretly longs for a bus load of smartass kids*
yall know Dej loves the chillrins
__________________________________________________


i was at work the other day and we were doing petition signing to get this dude on the ballot so he can run for city council
went to speak to one of the folks on my walk sheet
lemme tell you right now
i love old folk
i do
well mosta them
n i know somea them like to talk but lord
this old bag kept me at the door forever
i shoulda known shit was up while i was climbing her front steps
the younger girl that was coming down looked like she just got let from a prison camp, she looked so relieved to be headed in the opposite direction
Now i go up the stairs
do my shtick
ask the ancient relic if she'll sign the petition
simple right?
hell no
she went on and on
she jumped subjects so many damn times i got motion sick
Adam and Eve
teen pregnancy
breast implants
block parties
wtf
i needed someone to stop the flow of crap coming from the senile ole bag but she just kept going
and going
and
fuck it
i contemplated which one of three different Power Ranger moves i could use to send her hurtling down the stairs
but alas
im not writing this from my jail cell
i let her live
barely
im proud of myself

ps: if yall come across a weathered old hag named Marion
make haste in the opposite direction

dont ever say i aint did shit for u

we will be returning to regularly scheduled programming after a word from our sponsors

It's been too long
i missed yall
no
for real
i did
all 2 of u that are still reading this here piece of crap

Nothing's really been happening over here
i went out a few times

its just me n the pops now cuz my brothers are staying with my moms
Its fucking lonely man
them bastards got on my nerves but still.
I have noone to attention seek with
to curse out
to slap upside the head and run from


and i gots to pay rent now
can u believe this bullshit
wtf
shiiiiiiiiiiiiid
how u gon do that to blood pops
we aint cool no more
i mean
he promised me he'd cover me on the rent til i atleast turned 50 or got married whichever came first
so yeah...
50 it was
niggas always reneging on shit


my bday is coming up
the 23 of july
the most important day of the calendar
yes
i did say the most important
mark it
send gifts
better yet
funds
yeah funds
yall bastards are just gonna end up getting me some shit i aint want anyway


i still dont know what i wanna do
meh
itll probly b a bootleg girl's night out or something
shrugs
its summer n i need to get the hell out the house
WHAT YALL BEEN UP TO IN MY ABSENCE?
LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT SO I CAN GET BACK TO U N CHECK UR CRAP
ITS BEEN A MINUTE