Music: vernacular of the soul


dj

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Can i Live?

i'm just lookin out the window when she asks me
the same damn question she asks almost every time i see her
"So. you gotta man yet?"
(Really tho??!?!?)
me:*sighs* No
her:you sure? You better let me know if you do cuz if you go around tellin people you're not seeing someone and u end up pregnant....well people are gonna think you sleep around...you're a ho. u know what i mean?
me:*grimace* I'm grown. When i get a man you'll be the 2nd person to know.ok? I don't have to hide anything. I think at the age of 24, i can safely assume noone's gonna be alarmed.
(enter awkward silence)
"Do any guys try to talk to you...ask you out?"
(oh thnx mom. your doin wonders for my self esteem here.)
"yeah.sometimes"
(drop it already old bag. No need to beat a dead horse. I'm single and my ovaries are shriveling up as i speak.got it)
she looks over quizzically

"It doesnt go anywhere" *shrugs*
one minute later
"Do girls try to talk to you?"
(rolling eyes into the base of my skull)
"yeah.Sometimes"

Why's she staring into my eyes like that?
"What do you do?"
(I usually just say yes. "I'd love to be your lesbian lover" takem home and showem a good time)
the hell u think i say?
"uh.I say thnx for the compliment and keep it moving"
"oh.ok"

siiiiiiiiiiiigh
................................................

I'm sitting infront of the television talkin to the ole haitian immigrant
a conversation that includes such fascinating topics as chubby chasers, murderers, bestiality, homosexuality, mangoes and me being a lesbian


No you did not miss any revelation
I am still (as of now) straight
Apparently i defend the gays too damn hard
and that never had a man by the age of 26 thing (a brief foray into dating during grade school yrs doesnt count)
and that hypothetical story i started with " Well if you caught me in bed with a woman,"
My dad was like "Aha. I knew it."

fuck my life

I'm not gay old ass buzzard
im just hopelessly romantically awkwardly (not that cute awkward either) retarded
and the fellas i want aint checkin for me
and the ones checkin for me, i dont want

I'm starting to think i have a problem
did i mention im fuckin 26. give or take a few mnths (turn 26 in july)
folk getting engaged, married, impregnated, doin the impregnating every other damn second
and i can't get a man
much less keep me one

To the point that

MY OWN FUCKING PARENTS THINK IM GAY

aint that some sad shit
every time the word gay is mentioned in a news cast, movie, conversation, commercial
my dad looks at me to see if this is the damn moment ima choose to say
"Suprise bitches"

7 public opinion:

1/3 said...

LMAO, hey dej! Girl you are hardly an old hag at 26! The right guy well come along for you and you'll know it when he does. You're parents are funny. I think they just want to see you happy but have a funny way of showing it.

I hope all is good in your world girlie :-)

MissMonDiva said...

Agree with 1/3, your parental units want to see their baby girl happy... that's all...

Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with you. I'm 25 years old and every now and again I wonder when am I going to be wed and start a family (literally feels like everyone is doing soooo) and then I realize, they are not me! Good things come to those who wait.

dejanae said...

1/3: im sorta an old hag. be honest.lol
im hoping he will dammit.
thnx chica

missMondiva: feels like ive been wating forever tho
cant i just fastforward to the good shit?

ShaBoogiesince1982 said...

Wow.. lol that is crazy! So, what if you were? Would they be heart broken? I know a thing or two about being romantically awkward..think thats how I spent most of my younger years. But, I think I'm better for it now because I didn't have to deal with a lot of riff raff #kanyshrug

soumynona said...

Yo! Deja! I love this post and you know how I feel about your set - it's always so thoughtful. I'm with everyone on here, the right dude will show up, hell he might be closer than you think but take your time bc 25/26 is still a young'n. Heck I'm 31 and I'm already using icy-hot b4 and after bball. Also, from what I hear, the wedding and kid game ain't all what its cracked up to be...

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to think you're asexual cuz I've known you for over a decade and still dont understand.-C

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Anna