so yeah
expanding on date night
I had met him at some lounge the previous week. We exchanged numbers. I called him because im a modern woman and all that jazz (insert side eye)
look. I was bored

 i informed him when he came to pick me up that I had sent his number and likeness to atleast 2 people and had also sent a pic of his license plate number because "if you finna kill me tonight, you might wanna reconsider"
I was only half joking

 I did send the number and license number tho

I watch 20/20 bitch

besides he's from the bronx (yes. that was indeed shade)

I had a fun night. Not sure if there was any real chemistry but that's alright too
needed to get my crotch uh i mean feet
needed to get my feet wet

Conversation was interesting enough. No earth shattering revelations. No deep dark secrets were spilled.
Drinks, however ...(but ill get to that later)
I tend to overshare because i may have psychological issues
okay my therapist said i do have psychological issues

scene 1: we're at the bar. he's ordering drinks. Hands me mine and says "don't worry i didn't slip you a rufie", which gets me thinking on rufies and 20/20 (yes i have a problem)
So i do three seconds of maniacal laughter followed by an abrupt stop and penetrating glare. He looked as uncomfortable as i had felt the moment before so ...
all was well with the world (i did mention that i'm an ass right)

scene 2: We're dancing, talking, somehow we get to the subject of working out. He tells me he benches and squats (insert magic number intended to impress)
Then proceeds to try and pick me up dirty dancing style and succeeds in only getting me three inches off the ground
Fuck his masculinity and shit
Negro you aint gon have me feeling like i weigh a thousand lbs bitch
step them weights up



scene 3: I go to get my jacket from coat check and as im walking away, i slip and spend four uncomfortably long seconds trying to catch my balance
went something like this:
Im not gonna fall
Im not gonna fall
Houston we have a problem!
mayday!!!
mayday!!!
and then i landed on my ass

ofcourse my damn companion for the night was not there to catch me
I mean he was six feet away but hows that supposed to help me?
So when he mad his way over and offered me a hand I brushed it away, stood up and said
"Why weren't you here?!?! Why didn't you save me?!?!"
We both burst out laughing



Scene 4: We head to a diner to grab some breakfast cause a bitch has dietary needs.
We're chatting it up, laughing. Talking about our lives
I mention the virgin thing and negro gets this deer caught in headlights look in his eyes like i just said
" let's go to the courthouse and commence to making babies"
chill man
chill