yep

still too lazy to do it





but... but
im sick so that kinda gives me some leeway right?
no?
oh well

fuck you then

i am not a friggin liar

i coulda sworn i posted the pics and question shit before i went to sleep
of course since blogger wants to be a bitch, that aint happen
and of course since i have no luck it didnt even save the crap

arrrrrrrrrrrr

*turning into she-hulk and throwing a tantrum*

im back
frustrated but no worse for the wear

yall know im too lazy to do all that shit right now
i will attempt to have it up within the next 2 days

bootleg youtube vid post:

this is what i think of p.d.a

caption the pics









im feelin too lazy to upload all the pics
i will post the rest and explain shit tomorrow
the questions will be answered by wednesday
i promise

oooh chile

this ass shot is not gratuitous i assure you. tho i am not adverse to that either. ur supposed to notice the buttons
i thought they were cute



yeah yeah
im weaved up again
i was just friggin lazy and the best bud's bday is saturday so....

say hi to Andrani


went into the city for a friggin interview and to turn in some resumes

was walkin along 34 th street and the Tyra Banks show was conducting some bootleg passerby interviews and they asked me if i wanted to participate

sorry.i had places to go folk to go see about a damn job.
yeah i know yall mad
yall coulda checked for me on the telly.lol


I think i did well
i mean come on
im friggin fabulous right?
right
I was my usual personable self
They betta call me back is all im sayin

Saw this fiiiiine lookin man while me and Fi
this chick


were walking the mean nyc streets.
He was lookin all scrumdiddlyumptious and shit
not quite tall, dark, and handsome
he was more of the melanin challenged black folk variety
but ooh chile
he had dreads
and
an ass
*fanning myself*
nona that flat shit
that rent-a-cop had me thinkin some things.
had a sistah wanting to shoop.lol


He is not to be confused with the John McCain lookin motherfucker who was tryna proposition me


nor is he to be confused with the hispanic dude who thought it would be aight for him to come up to a sistah and grab her arm talkin bout "this gon be my wifey right here"

no bitch ass motherfucker
u dont know me
DO NOT TOUCH ME

Lucky for his midget ass he had time to scurry off through the foot traffic before i could tell him about himself


and oh
i just about almost busted my ass just now tryna do some salsa with my heels on
Blame it on the dance instructor at the gym and this song

She tryna have me break my neck

trail mixin it

My alter-negro is the outspoken, sarcastic, funny, confident side of me
If they could seperate my Stephan and Steve Urkel
I'd revert to some snivelling, quiet, shy, insecure, mass of something
X the snivelling
I don't do that shit
the rest still holds true

dont u hate when u think u cam up with some phrase that apparently already exists?


Public speaking is not really my thing but i will get to dancing like im audition for Flashdance 2

_________________________________________________
I get hot real easily
so while everybody is walking round with their gloves and scarf. I'm good wit my hoodie or t shirt and open jacket.
What folk need to do is stop lookin at me like i'm crazy or worse
I hate when they act like i done lost leave of my senses
You see me walkin with the hoodie
My jacket is tucked into the strap of my bag
My teeth aint shattering
How in the hell u gon ask me if i wanna borrow ur jacket. Do you think i'm so stupid i couldnt figure out
cold + jacket handy = I can dress my fuckin self
or people who tell me to zip up
Why in the hell are you worried?




___________________________________________________

Aliens are among us and one of them goes to my gym

so im in the locker room getting changed to get the hell outta there and this new chick is in there getting ready to start her workout. She's hella toned,no stetchmarks in sight, makeupless but her skin is clear as all hell. The pretty motherfucker had me hating. Then the bitch had the nerve to smile at me and say hey like i know her from somewhere. Take your hey somewhere else!!!I aint tryna be your damn friend.Fuckin Alien drone. Next thing you know she gon wanna be workout partners. Fastforward and we chillin and shit. Im bout to sound real shallow, but i'm not tryna be the proverbial ugly friend. Yall know wat i'm talkin bout.



____________________________________________________
Ima pretty average lookin chick. Nothing that'll make you do a double take or be like " damn son. how'd you land her?" (This is where yall cry out in protest and start thinking: What the hell she talkin bout? chick is fyah.lmao)
If i had to rate myself, I'd say im bout a five. right smack in the middle. You won't go running if you see me coming down the street or nothing but if i was the bootleg love interest in a video you'd be like: "What this chick doing on my screen?" I don't think i'm the shit (but honestly, i'm so cool, i won't discount the possibility)
So when i hear folk commenting on celebrities or other folk talking bout " She looks ugly." or "She justa 'around the way chick' (insert schreeching halt here)
I will never call someone ugly who i know looks a helluva lot betta than me. Some other folk tho, aint got the sense i do. First off you just come across as a hater. Second. What you gon say when someone tells you to look in the damn mirror?
Yeah she coulda chose a betta outfit and she shouldn't have let Shanequalashae do her hair but atleast she don't look like a cross between Gollum and Quasimodo
I'm just sayin...

____________________________________________________
albophobia -The fear of white people
apodyopsis -The act of mentally undressing someone
abderian -given to incessant or idiotic laughter
use one in a sentence
*let's see who's reading*

____________________________________________________
Mesmerized by his eyes
the way they follow me when i walk by
When he tells me that I
am the future that he envisioned
When he sees in me the beauty of long forgotten African queens
When he says i took away the sighs
and exclaims at how the span of my thighs
makes him sigh
in relief
that somehow, he gets to come home to me
His support system when he was going thru that grief
When he states that I, in my offering of comfort and solace
offered him the opportunity
for
Release
Fell in love with his tongue
and no
not the way u may think
I fell in love with his wordplay before his foreplay
entranced by the spells he'd cast
with the words he'd say
things like
"your image is indelibly burned into my mind" as he smiles
seeing me naked for the very first time
held me close as i cried
whispers of "i love u. it'll be alright", when my grandfather died
In his eyes i find the fountain of youth
in his charming way says i get better with each day
"like a bottle of chardonnay?" i ask
no he laughs as he takes me to task
and clasps my hands in his
as his eyes find mine
"more like
every day i can imagine
spending one more eternity
multiplied eternally
in your embrace"
"like every moment past is one less moment we have to share
so i wanna make them last"
as he proceeds to
kiss
my
face
cherishing every curve
every line
as i stare into his eyes

mesmerized

__________________________________________________________________



either yall know everything there is to know about me or yall really dont care
what happened to the questions?
theyll be answered ths weekend

RANDEM TANDEM-unanswered questions

it was

sweet
reckoning
her soul beckoning to him across the room
can you feel me ? it said
and just like that he turned his head
as if his spirit could sense her
as if .....
with one glance he could tempt her

that he did

cuz she felt the pull, the attraction
and tho she didn't believe in love at first sight she definitely could imagine
date one: poetry reading then drinks
where they would discuss their favorite authors,
reminisce on common memories
lost in
reverie
of a shared yet singular experience

year two:anniversary dinner
dim lights and daises
cuz he'd know she hated roses since.......

since she hated roses
never really knew why

10 years later
3 kids
Isaiah, Charisma
and Malachi cuz she's always loved that name

"excuse me,is this seat taken?"
and just like that
daydream broken
or maybe
it was just beginning


Or maybe i wake the hell up and realize i'm not the lead character in a romance novel. I think people may be a bit unrealistic in what they expect of others sometimes. In real life, i've never had an immediate connection with someone off of a look. I don't buy into that love at first sight crap. NOT FRIGGIN POSSIBLE. That aint love playa, that's lust, interest, what have you. but it aint love. Next: honestly, he probably wouldn't remember that i hate roses. He'd just step through with them and i'd give him the wtf face and he'd be all like "watd i do?". Dumb motherfucker i told you two years ago i hated roses. puahahahaha
That poetry reading and drinks thing sounds hella sexy to me.
I do love those names: Charisma. Isaiah. Malachi
I know i say i want 10 kids (if finances allow) but i figure 3 of my own is enough plus throw in some foster and adoptive kids and i'm good to go.
Now lemme see what dude is gon try and tell me i can't have my 10 kids. Nuccah please i told you that on day 1 and now that we married you tryna renege on the deal. Get outta here. NO 4real. GET OUT.Oh u aint tryna hear me. OKAY THEN. Malachi, Charisma, Isaiah. grab ur bags. We takin a trip. Daddy's actin a damn fool today.


_________________________________________________



And it just keeps getting better
im not pregnant
but this i already friggin knew
My body did not have to expel anything dammit
i gotta be the unlucky bitch whose period lasts a whole friggin week


my camera is actin a fool and hiding from me so no hair pics
meh
it looks the same as those side pics nyway
use ur imagination



What will it take for a man to get you to have sex with him?
There are a coupla scenarios that could lead to me having to lay it down on someone (this assuming my sex life is as good as it plays out in my head.lol)

1.billionaire approaches me with an offer of atleast 1.3 billion dollars
He must sign a legally binding confidentiality agreement complete with nondisclosure clause
and pay for my revirgination surgery

2.a)He has to be particularly adept at hypnosis. Now ive heard of folk getting hypnotized by the dick.Ima harder chick to crack.lol
b)He has to have mind control powers

3.The fate of the world hangs in the balance and for some reason or another i have to be the friggin sacrificial virgin. Ima suggest that they go after Desy first tho.

4.The lord himself(and no he cant send Jesus as his messenger)has to come down and compel me to give up the drawers

ok lemme stop being stupid

yall know im tryna do that whole wait til marriage thing
i can hear folk hissing and snickering already
stop it
dont underestimate me son
i have a knack for ruining the mood when it suits me

Now being tres realistic here. even if i dont wait til that 'til death do us part', i am not fuckin with anybody i cannot see myself having a kid with. Thats my criteria. If i cant see you being the father of my child, i am not climbing atop the dick.

Shit happens. Im not tryna get stuck with a dumb motherfucker cuz a condom up and broke on me
If i was a dude, im pretty sure i'd be thinkin the same way




Why do you ask so many questions of your readers?
I havent asked questions in a minute.hmmm.gotta get on that.
Im nosey. Thats why. good enough?

If Hillary wins the nomination would you stay home from the polls in the general election?
Ha. Thats how long it took me to get to answering this shit. Them primaries been done.If she had won, ida still cast that ballot

How much traveling have you done?
Meh. not much. Only ever been to Haiti and Canada basically.
I gotta work on that.

Is there any place you'd like to go that you haven't been to?
I wanna head to Egypt and check out some heiroglyphics up close and personal
hit up an archeological dig or something. Get my In[Diana] Jones on.

Is there any place that you have been that you'd like to go back to to?
Canada i guess. I went for a wedding. Didnt do much sight seeing

Where did the name Dejanade come from from?
Its a combination of my first and last name + the lemonade ending
Diana+Jean+Lemonade=dejanade

What's the craziest search term(s) that brings people to your site?
i guess it would have to be gangbang
some freak got sorely disappointed when he came to my site
hey, atleast he made it known that it was a good read nonetheless.


I used to swear i could levitate

My folk tried to tell me that i was confusing my dreams with reality
hmmm
im not quite convinced


OK FOLK
GO HEAD
ASK ME SOMETHING
DONT ASK SHIT U DONT WANT THE ANSWER TO

yada yada yada

im lazy
i will have a real post up for tomorrow ok
dont stone me

i took out el weave
cut my hair
not that u can tell much
aah the wonder of being natural
pics will be available sometime tomorrow

i need to head back to the gym
its been atleast a month
i have been fake running tho
summer's about to be up so honestly i dont really give a fuck on being strict with this exercise routine shit
mid winter is when i go hard

i need to do laundry
i probably wont get to it til tomorrow
i did say i was lazy


Ive changed my major yet again
Ive decided that when i head back itll be early childhood education and africana studies
I am indecisive but better i figure it out now than later
besides
i love the kiddies and i love history so this shit better work

WHAT JOB CAN YOU PICTURE ME DOING?

sigh

sorry folk
i been tryna get shit together
the funds aint quite lookin right for me to go to school next semester
tryna get a full time gig

my god sister's grandma passed last week
the funeral's saturday
sigh
she was the closest thing to a grandma i've had
not to disparage my real grandmothers or anything
i just didnt know them like that
i really am mad at myself that i didnt see her as much as i should have
especially close to the end
sigh
i cant even get into that crap right now
maybe later
im friggin tapped out emotionally




My mom is actin a damn mess again
well moreso than usual that is
Yo
Why did she have the nerve to lay hands on me yesterday?
ok
lemme tell it from the beginning
I had gone out with Fiona
to some club in the village cuz her friend was celebrating his birthday
got home late
like 6 something
watev
no big deal right?
WRONG
My moms had called that night and they told her i was out
so why'd this woman decide to call every hour on the friggin hour until 4 am to check if i'd gotten in?
Guess she stopped telephone stalkin me so she could get her ass to sleep and wake up for work in the damn morning
who but she calls later that afternoon
Did she ask where i was?
NO
Did she ask who i was with?
NO
Did she ask why i aint left a number to be reached?
NO
Honestly
it was really none of her damn business cuz i for sure dont live with her
and last time i checked i was grown but
What she decided to do was start the phone conversation out by callin me a slut bitch
Yeah
thatll work
so i told her i didnt have time for her crap right then and that i needed to get some sleep cuz i came in late
puahaha
there, a string of curses did follow from the other end
Im so tired of her for real
She followed up with a few more calls
all with some variation of ho/bitch/slut what have you
and her favorite phrase of late?
Were you out getting fucked in the ass?
(side note: whats with this new fascination with anal sex tho?Why not just getting fucked?hmmm.interesting)
lmaoooo
no
you have to hear her say it in the Haitian accent to get the full hilarity factor
(She always whispers that shit like she's afraid it's gone get picked up on some wire tap that the pastor had installed or something)
it's sad but it's funny
i dont know whether to laugh or cry when it comes to this chick
Lord knows i've done my fair share of both
So she came over to the house yesterday to see the boys and give my other brother his suit
I ignored her and went to get me some food from the kitchen
sigh
She proceeded to say i was a slut who went out clubbing every weekend and was probably fuckin every guy up in there
(ha
hardly)
and somehow i ended up with a string of boyfriends
an std or two
and oh
did i mention im pregnant?
smh
yes
thats how her warped mind works
We got to arguing and i told her about herself
words were exchanged
She tried to slap me
I moved out the way and her hand caught me in my shoulder instead

FOLK
it took all i had not to do some hoodrat shit
Im too threw with this broad

I'm done

She needs some damn psychological help and i cant make her get it
Ima just stay away before i do something ima regret


"I ain’t worried doin me tonight
A little sweat ain’t never hurt nobody"
I was for sure sweating
had to air out the girls a lil bit
had the afro puff too
sorry no pics
anyway i did have fun that night
here i go revisiting Diana's club etiquette tips
take heed folk
do not let the jokin manner fool you from the utter seriousness of my intent
lol


1) atleast ask a bitch to dance. DON'T JUST BE GRABBIN ON MY ARM MOTHERFUCKER. Liable to get your black ass killed.
(I aint gon lie tho. There was this one dude actin a damn fool, but he was cute and funny with his so i let it go. What you want me to say??He was good-lookin dammit. I'm allowed to make exceptions)

2) If i bless you with the opportunity to dance with yours truly, follow my lead. Read my friggin body language. I'll let you know how far ima go. Don't fuckin pull that shit on me you was doin to that heifa over there. No you tryna bend me over and shit.
(I was dancing with this dude and all was good until some reggae come on. I mean i got bootleg hype too cuz dj had kinda killed the mood playing some slow ass American Gansta joint for too long so when the reggae beat came on I was ready to do my thing. This motherfucker however, thought it was the perfect time to assault me with his hips. Fuck man. Where the finesse at? I got my heels on and shit. Calm the hell down. Jack rabbit ass. (How much you wanna bet that's how he is in the bedroom the no signal-reading, flo jo hip-movin, premature ejaculatin-sucka)
So i just had to flip it on him and give him somea that shit back on some "yeah nigga. what u want?" type mess. I think he kinda got scared.Didn't know what the hell to do. Serves his ass right.

3) If you can't dance, what bizness you have askin me? You aint gotta be no Fred Astaire or nothing. But PLEASE. Stop stompin all over my feet. Sure they a size 10.5Don't mean they don't feel pain idiot

4) As evidenced above if you're cute and funny or not so cute and funny, you can get away with more shit. Not if you think your funny. Only if you actually make me laugh. Otherwise proceed with caution.

5) You just look a fool standing all the way over there glancing at me every five seconds. You wanna dance? ask. Don't be doin that stalker shit. It aint a good look. What you want me to do? Go over there and ask you? uh huh. So you really aint gon ask a sistah to dance but wanna stare all night? Whatever do you. Just don't try no mess when i'm tryna take my ass home. I got a tazer in my purse. Well maybe i do, maybe i don't. Do you really wanna take that chance?

6) Just cuz we was dancing does not mean i am now your girlfriend, fuck buddy, or wifey. Needy ass, attachment-disorder motherfucker
The song is over. You can leave me alone now. Why the hell you mean-muggin cuz i'm dancin with this dude?


have a good day folk