i been tryna get shit together
the funds aint quite lookin right for me to go to school next semester
tryna get a full time gig
my god sister's grandma passed last week
the funeral's saturday
she was the closest thing to a grandma i've had
not to disparage my real grandmothers or anything
i just didnt know them like that
i really am mad at myself that i didnt see her as much as i should have
especially close to the end
i cant even get into that crap right now
im friggin tapped out emotionally
My mom is actin a damn mess again
well moreso than usual that is
Why did she have the nerve to lay hands on me yesterday?
lemme tell it from the beginning
I had gone out with Fiona
to some club in the village cuz her friend was celebrating his birthday
got home late
like 6 something
no big deal right?
My moms had called that night and they told her i was out
so why'd this woman decide to call every hour on the friggin hour until 4 am to check if i'd gotten in?
Guess she stopped telephone stalkin me so she could get her ass to sleep and wake up for work in the damn morning
who but she calls later that afternoon
Did she ask where i was?
Did she ask who i was with?
Did she ask why i aint left a number to be reached?
it was really none of her damn business cuz i for sure dont live with her
and last time i checked i was grown but
What she decided to do was start the phone conversation out by callin me a slut bitch
so i told her i didnt have time for her crap right then and that i needed to get some sleep cuz i came in late
there, a string of curses did follow from the other end
Im so tired of her for real
She followed up with a few more calls
all with some variation of ho/bitch/slut what have you
and her favorite phrase of late?
Were you out getting fucked in the ass?
(side note: whats with this new fascination with anal sex tho?Why not just getting fucked?hmmm.interesting)
you have to hear her say it in the Haitian accent to get the full hilarity factor
(She always whispers that shit like she's afraid it's gone get picked up on some wire tap that the pastor had installed or something)
it's sad but it's funny
i dont know whether to laugh or cry when it comes to this chick
Lord knows i've done my fair share of both
So she came over to the house yesterday to see the boys and give my other brother his suit
I ignored her and went to get me some food from the kitchen
She proceeded to say i was a slut who went out clubbing every weekend and was probably fuckin every guy up in there
and somehow i ended up with a string of boyfriends
an std or two
did i mention im pregnant?
thats how her warped mind works
We got to arguing and i told her about herself
words were exchanged
She tried to slap me
I moved out the way and her hand caught me in my shoulder instead
it took all i had not to do some hoodrat shit
Im too threw with this broad
She needs some damn psychological help and i cant make her get it
Ima just stay away before i do something ima regret
"I ain’t worried doin me tonight
A little sweat ain’t never hurt nobody"
I was for sure sweating
had to air out the girls a lil bit
had the afro puff too
sorry no pics
anyway i did have fun that night
here i go revisiting Diana's club etiquette tips
take heed folk
do not let the jokin manner fool you from the utter seriousness of my intent
1) atleast ask a bitch to dance. DON'T JUST BE GRABBIN ON MY ARM MOTHERFUCKER. Liable to get your black ass killed.
(I aint gon lie tho. There was this one dude actin a damn fool, but he was cute and funny with his so i let it go. What you want me to say??He was good-lookin dammit. I'm allowed to make exceptions)
2) If i bless you with the opportunity to dance with yours truly, follow my lead. Read my friggin body language. I'll let you know how far ima go. Don't fuckin pull that shit on me you was doin to that heifa over there. No you tryna bend me over and shit.
(I was dancing with this dude and all was good until some reggae come on. I mean i got bootleg hype too cuz dj had kinda killed the mood playing some slow ass American Gansta joint for too long so when the reggae beat came on I was ready to do my thing. This motherfucker however, thought it was the perfect time to assault me with his hips. Fuck man. Where the finesse at? I got my heels on and shit. Calm the hell down. Jack rabbit ass. (How much you wanna bet that's how he is in the bedroom the no signal-reading, flo jo hip-movin, premature ejaculatin-sucka)
So i just had to flip it on him and give him somea that shit back on some "yeah nigga. what u want?" type mess. I think he kinda got scared.Didn't know what the hell to do. Serves his ass right.
3) If you can't dance, what bizness you have askin me? You aint gotta be no Fred Astaire or nothing. But PLEASE. Stop stompin all over my feet. Sure they a size 10.5Don't mean they don't feel pain idiot
4) As evidenced above if you're cute and funny or not so cute and funny, you can get away with more shit. Not if you think your funny. Only if you actually make me laugh. Otherwise proceed with caution.
5) You just look a fool standing all the way over there glancing at me every five seconds. You wanna dance? ask. Don't be doin that stalker shit. It aint a good look. What you want me to do? Go over there and ask you? uh huh. So you really aint gon ask a sistah to dance but wanna stare all night? Whatever do you. Just don't try no mess when i'm tryna take my ass home. I got a tazer in my purse. Well maybe i do, maybe i don't. Do you really wanna take that chance?
6) Just cuz we was dancing does not mean i am now your girlfriend, fuck buddy, or wifey. Needy ass, attachment-disorder motherfucker
The song is over. You can leave me alone now. Why the hell you mean-muggin cuz i'm dancin with this dude?
have a good day folk
Music: vernacular of the soul
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Posted by dejanae at 2:41 AM