There i was, sitting on the library couch
what seemed a cross betweeen maniacal and hysterical laughter emanating deep from my gut,
when i realized my friends were kinda lookin at me funny
Glory Dana was givin Andrani the conspiratorial side eye and Tiffany looked like she wanted to back away from me very slowly

I didn't even fuckin know why i was laughin
scratch that
I was laughin like a crazy bitch because i had made it out alive

I guess this is where i do the whole flashback bullshit and actually tell you about the fight
or is this where I go to the very beginning and give you the bootleg backstory?

I'll just pretend you said backstory
well
actually

nah

I'll just get to the fight

It was lunchtime at Shell Bank junior highschool so ofcourse all the eighth graders were chilling in the courtyard
But that day something was different
eerily
different

lol
i'm just bein stupid now

but there was some bootleg function going on, so all three grades were out in the court yard at the same time

So me and the gang (in the very loosest sense of the term. Band of misfits were we) were just hanging around on the staircase
It was a while ago so
no
i can't recall what the fuck it was we were talking about
What i do know is that within a matter of minutes i'd be thrust into a situation not of my own making

*insert retarded laughter here*

So yeah
i was seated on the banister just minding my own friggin business when i saw them
i said a silent prayer that there would be no friggin drama as i watched them exit the lunchroom doors and i swear it seemed an eternity before they made it up them damn steps

then of course the bitches had to start in on some bullshit

I dont remember the heifa's name but she gave me the ill up and down grill followed by scowl followed by evil grin followed by
can't quite remember her exact words but basically she called me a brokedown bitch and proceeded to crack on my Jordan's

ok
yeah
they were a few months old
i admit i was never the fashion forward type
i hardly matched
seldom had the name brand shit
but really
why is this bitch worried?
is she gon pay for that friggin makeover she says i need?

Ok the bitch got off on belittling folk
you've had your laughs
can i go now?

yall know ima smartass right?
so i can hear some of yall wonderin why the hell i aint say shit
Well i'm real big on the 'smart' part

So all them smart comebacks knew betta than to come out my mouth and get all of our asses beat

If i had known what was gon happen just a few minutes later tho
ida .....







to be friggin continued
im lazy
u already know this
sue me


We were a ragtag bunch
and not equipped for physical altercation to be sure

Glory Dana was practically on some midget status
Andrani was tall sure but skinny as all hell (had folk wondering if she had an eating disorder- skinny)
and Tiffany
well let's just say she hung out with me out of convenience. truth be told she had gotten unceremoniously kicked out of the cool kids club
and figured she'd be nice to me when she had no other alternative
We reached a semi-friendly relationship tenuously held together via our connection thru Andrani
but this heifa wouldnt jump in to save nobody's ass.ya dig?

So there i stood
(im pretty sure i said that already. ill probably say it atleast two more times in the course of this recanting crap)

She-devil and her cronies got their laughs in as a few more seemingly devastating barbs were flung my way
some other crap about my clothes and lack of hair
(i really was practically immune to that bullshit. heard too much of it for it to sting. However never having been in a fight before, i for sure was
worried bout ending up dead
no folk
no exaggeration was this
these lil ghetto ass kids had busted up a girl's head not too long before
I really could not afford to be rendered a friggin vegetable or
have to have what lil hair i did have get chopped off so doctor's could sew up my dome)

you know bitches can smell fear right?
so i just kept my characteristic 'i don't give a fuck' face

a coupla "ugly bitch"s
rolled eyes
and thinly veiled threats at premeditated murder later

they walked away

you could see the satisfaction seeping from their eventually to be rotting in hell flesh

i breathed a sigh of relief as me and the gang climbed down the steps and made our way to the benches nestled away under the trees just a few feet from the base of the steps

So ofcourse this is where i decided i was gon say all the comebacks that shoulda came out my mouth when crazy heifas were all in my face
don't judge me.lol


That's when i saw them descending the ashphalt steps and they sure did look like they were itchin for some drama
me?
no thanks

the gang and i decided to kick our asses in gear and head inside the lunch room

We almost made it
approximately ten feet stood between my black ass and freedom from a beatdown
but alas
twas not to be

Who should come bursting through the lunchroom doors but more of the evil bitch crew variety
insert long sigh here






the rest to be up tomorrow
haha
get over it
ungrateful bastards


yall lucky my ADD ass managed to write this much
for real
yall should thank me




SO
there i was
ha
insert frantic look over shoulder here
enemy forces encroaching upon me at the rear
split second reconaissance was in order


I wont lie folk
i was scared shitless
"fight or flight motherfucker"
my animal brain was screamin at me
"fight or flight"

now let's see

Flight
I attempt to run away
(we all know what they say bout running from ferocious dogs right?
right
get intercepted by the adversary and not only catch a massive beatdown but have to be labeled a punk ass bitch
for the rest of my junior high school existence

ummm

hell no

fight it is

I tried to look as hardcore as my 14 year old self could manage

i'd be damned if they'd see me squirm
whatever went down, i was goin down fighting
(this as i tried to recall any and all Power Ranger moves i had in my arsenal.Yes folk. i was serious.)

dun dun dun duuuuuuuun
haha
it's called suspense bastards

yeah i know this aint no friggin soap opera
im annoying
story to be completed by midnight


the thin layer of bravado i managed to summon enabled me to stand there
head held high
limbs steady (which sure as hell surprised me)

Next thing i knew i was surrounded
thirsty blood sucking instigators and onlookers had made their way downstairs
I don't know how they knew
but the fuckers always knew

"Why yall just standing there?" came one
"She aint gon do shit" came another
yet another called for my beatdown to commence posthaste (ha. i just love that word. dont you?)

The whole time i just stared into T'shaya's face
I could tell she didnt really wanna fight me
She was in the sixth grade
I was in the eighth
I was tall
She was short
well not really
She was of average height

She just seemed short is all
Reminded me of a lil girl tryna play dress up
Drowning in her mother's gown
lipstick smeared across her face
She just wasn't in her element
tryna play with the big dogs but it just didnt fit

She drew her courage from the jeers of the crowd
I,
from my hold on inner fortitude, thin as it was

in that moment, i kinda felt sorry for her
It was a shame too
we were friendly once

Then the bitch slapped me
you can be sure all that shit went out the proverbial window