Music: vernacular of the soul


Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Hairy Situation

i don't shave down there
not at all
it's not that hairy anyway
i mean what's the point
noone's gon see it

my legs are pretty much always covered up

im bein an ass
This post is about hair a lil further up

no we're still not talkin bout the vajayjay
(altho, while we're on the subject, how many of yall have gotten it waxed? How was it?)

Back to the real intent of this friggin post

The hair on my damn head

I came into this world with a head full of hair

and it went downhill from there
(well until i decided to go natural but whatever. That comes later)

When i said i was practically bald in junior high
That is no friggin exaggeration
only slight hyperbole

Just to make you see how sad it was, I got excited when the back of my hair reached halfway neck length
oh man
and my bangs that were not bangs
(fuckin bastards it's not a bang that's just how short my hair is)
when my bangs reached my eyebrows,
Tell me why i was hype??!??!?! SMH

Then in the summer before highschool i discovered weave
not the sew in kind
cuz i couldnt handle that one yet
but the ghetto bobby pin in a ponytail
you know the kind i'm talkin bout
The one where the tail don't match the rest of the damn horse

(i see yall givin me the face)
but you couldn't tell me NOTHIN
i thought i was stylin yall
Eventually i managed the art of actually making sure the weave matched my damn hair
I still don't understand how it was possible but i managed to wear the same exact weave throughout my sophmore year of highschool
(i washed it bastards)

Anyway my dumbass continued with the stupidity
Yall ladies know how yall supposed to perm between every 6-8 weeks or some crap like that?
Well apparently i aint get the memo
i saw some newgrowth and tried to tame it right quick

I really had no idea what i was doing and it showed
with my bald-headed ass

Then the lord commanded me to......
but i did come across a haircare site
and i did me some reading

From that edumacation i knew i'd have to start from scratch basically if i wanted to actually maintain some damn hair on my head

but i was fighting it
me? cut all my damn hair off??!?!?!?!!?
(yes i know
ur saying "Bitch you was already bald!! What's the problem??!?!!?!?")
Well almost-bald and bald are two different things
ask Donald Trump
You will work wit them last two strands and swear up and down ur cute
Well this aint the Simpsons and i aint Homer up in this bitch

I decided i'd go natural
(when i first decided to go natural it was just for the sake of growing my hair. I planned on perming it as soon as i saw me some length)
i let my hair be for three months than chopped off the permed ends

I went into the bathroom grabbed me some scissors and some conditioner and started
cutting before i could change my mind

Glad i did that

So here i am
goin on two years since i chopped
a year since i actually figured out what the hell i was doing
a few trims
3 cuts
and i can honestly say i don't plan on perming again
(i aint got nothing against yall permed sistahs,
or brothers *side eye*)

but this is what works for me
I for sure still am close friends with weave
that's my buddy right there

but my afro is my numero uno road dawg

Say hi to the napps everybody

oh and say hi to the ole haitian immigrant
This is him when i first moved back to bk 2 1/2 years ago

This is him now
(in the middle of some bootleg mackin story again)

He tries to say the weight gain is because of the stress i caused him
Can somebody please tell his ole ass
he should be lucky i moved back in with him bcuz he was lookin a lil skeletorish
I saved his life dammit
he was damn near on his death bed before i came along

35 public opinion:

DiamondsR4eva said...

I wrote a post about this a while back I'll try to find it and come back with the link thanks for the love!

soumynona said...

I love the natural! Natural hair is really what its about. And um, keep that vajay jay trimmed, it doesnt have to be naked but you never know you may have a long time visitor -

James Tubman said...

stay natural

follow the KISS formula

but you are not the last part of course

The Jaded NYer said...

Girl, going natural is the move! I decided to stop relaxing my hair in 1998 and I'm so happy I did. My hair is WORK, but I'm gld to have it, and I've had the same stylist since '98, too. I'd trust Josie with my life...

Opinionated Diva said...

Loved this post!!! I'm lucky enough not to have hair problems, but I felt your pain with cutting it all off and going natural - natural hair is a LOT of work!! lol

"yes i know ur saying "Bitch you was already bald!! What's the problem??!?!!?!?"" CRACKED up at that line. I love the way you make fun of yourself and keep it moving!

Desy said...

Well almost-bald and bald are two different things
ask Donald Trump


*gain composure*

I LOVE the fro... re.pre.sent cause there aint that many out there... (but i'm not gonna lie- i'm ready to cut mine short.. it's alot to

DollFace said...

LMAO at your intro!

Rep for the naturals...cause I can't do it!

As for waxing...I've gotten a regular but not a brazilian. Hurts, but I love the results.

Muze said...

man i was laughing OUT LOUD reading this. you are SILLY. lol.

GLAD you decided to go natural. feels so good doesn't it?

your fro is right. work it mama.

Muze said...

oh! and i get waxed down there on the regular. hurts to high heaven, but the outcome is soooo purty.

Mizrepresent said...

Love the afro gurl, rock it!

1/3 of what I used to be said...

never been waxed..keep it trimmed though.

You are rocking that fro! Loving the weave as well. I think being natural makes you more versatile. I was just talking to my friends about stopping all this perming nonsense.

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

lolz...i was thinking of going natural..and just said how about I get a weave that looks like nappy natural hair...but Go on with your pretty much own every look and thats hot..

dejanae said...

i feel u on the cut
everytime my hair grows i cut it
the smaller fro just looks betta on me i think

glad u appreciated it
girl u can do it

yep it does feel good
thnx hon
im tryna be like u
the waxin tho, ima leave that to you
the razor is my friend

thnx hon
i try

love the versatility
try it. i cant guarantee u'll love it, but i dont see why not
i do

try the weave out to see if u like the look
if so, go for it

12kyle said...

The fro is reaaaaaal fly! I like it.

dejanae said...

no prob hon

a long time visitor?
is that code for a yeast infection?
side eye

james tubman:
of course not
was never stupid
well actually.....

jaded nyer:
thas wassup
a good stylist is not easy to come by

opinionated diva:
girl it is a lot of work
but when i get that fro just right...
it's all worth it
i mean i'm just sayin what i would think if i was the one reading it

thnx man

Sha said...

LOLLLLLLLLLLLL u crackd me up.
lovin' da fro.. keep it!

Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH The whole thing just had me dead laughing, Child please let me dig up the pics when I actually grabbed razors and shaved that whole crap #1 just because... i was like fuck some hair, conditioner stays being expensive

Anonymous said...

Oh one more thing

NAIR girl!!!, I don't know why you playing, is Summer somewhere for you to be all...umm... overgrown

dejanae said...


ur a mess

i mean aint noone gon see it anyway

Ms Sula said...

Your fro is da bomb!!

Can't wait for mine to reach that height! And you do favor your dad, oh my!

I brazilian wax... It hurts somewhat but you can feel everything and I do mean EVERYTHING. Lol!

dejanae said...

i know
i look like the ole man spit me out
i'll wait to get it waxed when somebody's gon be handling some business down there

One Man’s Opinion said...

Well, I love the natural. I think we should all be proud of every nap on our heads. I know I am. I will admit that the natural looks better on some than others, but it might just have to do with having the confidence to work what the Lord gave ya. You work those naps, girl. LOL. Hey, don't nobody need to know you don't shave down there. You are right, in the post above. You do talk too much. LOL. Oh, and you can't always be right, because I am...even when I'm wrong.

dejanae said...

man ima have to issue a front page claification or something
i said i aint shaved my legs
who lied to you
my word is law

Rashan Jamal said...

LOL you are silly. I hope you don't think that counts as a confession. I was wondering if there was anyone that likes taking pictures of themselves more than me...then I found you. LOL

dejanae said...

whynahell not?

That Saddity Chic said...

I did the big chop 3 years ago. Best decision for my hair I ever made. Girl, I love rocking my fro. Makes a sistah feel sexy lol. What products do you use?

dejanae said...

only use bootleg shea butter basically
im not really up on the haircare like i really should be

The Fitness Diva said...

going natural isn't easy...
more time to wash, more time to dry
but in the end it's worth it
to be free of perms. weaves and fake hair. That's become the black woman's crutch these days. Not knocking anyone, just stating a truth. I saw a 9 year old girl with a lace front on the other week, and wanted to slap her mama so bad....

I'm dreading and loving it. My dreads are gonna be the flyest shyt ever seen. I'm lovin' em one inch at a time! They hit my shoulder as we speak...

Rock your fro, girl! It's a good look. And don't forget conditioner, your hair's best friend!

karrie b. said...

um...i think your fro is fucking awesome. goshhhhh it looks like 1 of those wigs u buy in ricky's for halloween. it's so perfect-looking!

not on some brag shit (not at all), but i could only get a perm every 6 months...dominicans said it was way too soft for i tried to go natural, and i realized it would take me double the amount of time to grow it out fully.


weaves are my new best friend (tho my friends give me hell cuz they say i don't need em)...they're so much fun aren't they?

i went 8 months and threw in the towel.

i love your dad...lmaooooo. mackin. gon' pops.


karrie b. said...

i plan to wax my taco before i go to cancun in may, so i'll tell you all about it.


dejanae said...

fitness diva:
dang thats just sad

good look
im considering dreading next year
we'll see if that happens
im too friggin wishy washy

and horror of horrors
i could never forget the conditioner

thnx hon

weaves are fun
u know the switchup is funny cuz different types of guys approach depending on how i have my hair

my dad...
i love hom too
but sometimes, he needs some friggin help

taco huh?
never heard that one

Brittany_83 said...

"The one where the tail don't match the rest of the damn horse"
OMG LMAO!!! I know exactly what you are talking about. I don't think I could go natural. Never even really thought about it.

dejanae said...

i know
it wasn't a good look

honestly i never figured id go natural either
and only started that journey for hair growth
but i loved it and kept it

Chanell said...

Diana, you're an idiot and making me laugh in the comp lab like I'm high.
Your natural hair is lovely. I wish I could but Im struggling relaxed.
Give me some pointers, shoot.
lol @ your dad and his macking stories. I can see you know looking at him all crazy while he reminisces.

lov said...

LOL...I rocked the ponytail too!
Your pics are gorgeous. Love it!