Music: vernacular of the soul


Friday, May 30, 2008

Here's part 2
click for part one

nah nah
i must be hallucinating
did this bitch really just slap me?

aww hell n----and before i could finish the thought i was swingin on the heifa
never mind the fact that ive never been in a fight before, nevermind the fact that all them power ranger moves flew out my head, never mind her bootleg posse or the crowd that
obviously was not
against a 'kick Diana's Ass' campaign

(contary to what they show you in the movies, shit did not slow down to a crawl
no slow motion here
It was all a jumble really)

all i knew was that i wasnt tryna get hit and im sure i looked a damn fool swingin like a crazy person (i did say i had never been in a fight havent i?)
I wasnt tryna be Rocky
i was tryna stay out of the line of fire
Was doin a pretty good job of it too til this bitch ass piecea shit lil boy decided to trip me

Yes folk
This punkass mofo saw fit to come outta his face and stick his scrawn, ashy, lil leg out and cause me to land my black ass on the floor
(This lil crusty ass turdlike thing had been talkin shit to me for a minute. He got his own lata tho. He got stomped out by this group of boys

Now this was just the in that Tshaya needed
I saw her foot headed towards me and tried to roll of to the side and stand up
that was the plan anyway

However, Idiots that i didnt even know decided they was in the Super Bowl and somehow i musta transformed into a football or something

nah nah
D aint down for that crap

so there i was
on the dirt floor

mad as all hell
folk wasnt givin a bitch a chance to stand up son

So i did the only thing i could
protected my

u expected some martial arts moves or something?
i aint jackie chan man

im sure i looked like a dyin fish
wobblin about in the dirt
legs and arms flailing tryna hit any target within reach

Then the sea of idiots parted as the dean stepped on thru

Finally, i thought
where the hell u been?

I stood my dirt encrusted ass up quick as can be
Can you believe that dumb heifa was tryna play hard talkin but she was gon finish kickin my ass lata?
did u forget
u just had ur chance
u aint really do shit


If YOU got beef with me and you itchin for a fight
call your fuckin dogs off and let's do this hand to hand combat shit
man to man
woman to woman
junior highschooler
to junior highschooler

I looked down at my clothes
looked up at the idiot bein held by the dean as she was throwin punches in the air
bitch ur arms are not 8 feet long
u can stop now

she kept shriekin
"You lucky he holding me back
that's why i fucked u up"

It was all just too damn much for me
I just burst out laughin

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

You don't know my name

What's my real name?
Name one of my crushes?
What's been your favorite/most memorable post so far? (of mine)
Am i on your blogroll?
Who do you think i'd be compatible with?(blogwise)

yeah this is a bullshit post
(*snickers*like most of them arent)

I'm in the market for a blog husband by the way
I mean, it be lonely out here.haha
What can u do for me?
must be willing to blog fight for me
must be willing to collaborate on posts
must be willing to cheer me up when i feel like shit

must possess:
sarcastic wit
crazy sense of humor
ability to provide thought provoking conversation

a nice ass doesnt hurt either
if u got some ass pics
dont be afraid to share

What am i bringing to the table?
witty comebacks
my own brand of sarcasm
incessant retardedness
bullshit detector

but i aint fighting for nobody
ya dig?

Monday, May 26, 2008

Hot seat

what are you studying in school?

where is the most interesting place you've traveled?

what is your favorite spot in the nyc?
just chillin in Manhattan, walkin around

Do you still have some of that Hooch (the bootleg alcohol from Haiti) you got from your Pops?
nah man. That shit been done. Ima make the ole haitian immigrant bring me back some next time he goes

You plan to share?
You plan on paying?

How many fibers are intertwined in a shredded wheat biscuit?
What the fuck kinda question is this?I'm ignoring your drunk ass

You still waiting on those answers, aren't you?
Yep. get to it man

How are you doing on your finals?
Aced them man

Are you getting enough sleep?
Enough is a relative term. I'm not seeing any signs of sleep deprivation so i guess i'm good

Is the video blog still on or what? quit stalling!
You first son. You first

How many kids did you say you wanted again?
I want 10. Im only gon pop out a maximum of 4. Plan on adopting the rest

Think I asked enough questions?
Hit me with anymore u got

name one "mystery of the universe" you'd want to know the answer to and why
Aliens soooooon. That'd just be some cool shit

if you could ask any president, living or dead, ONE QUESTION who would it be and what would you ask him?
I'd ask Bush junior why his dumbass aint committed suicide yet. What? Did you expect something deep? lol

what's the best gift you ever received?
My pops bought me a set of a dozen books. My first bootleg book collection. I stayed reading them. Pops had me on that reading tip early

what are you studying in school, and how did you decide this was the major for you?
I decided on psychology cuz i enjoy it and i be acing them classes. good enough?lol

if there was a blogger that u could slap the shit out of, who would it be and why?HAHA
all these friggin bloggers that wanna leave folk hangin for weeks at a damn time

what do yo like the most about living in NY?
It's friggin NEW YORK!!!! nuff said. but for real tho. We got everything here man

How long have you been wearing your hair natural?
Something like 2 years

What's your workout routine? I'm in need of one so bad lol
I try to go 3 times a week. emphasis on try. Fake sports conditioning class on mondays and fridays and i try to get in a day of cardio in between

How are things going with your mom now?
It's goin okay but she somehow sees the need to call me every damn day

whats your favorite color?

What is your favorite haitian dish?
Diri ak jonjon and griot and banan peze (i just butchered the haitian language. im sure desy will call me on it)
rice and mushrooms, fried pork, and fried plantain

What is it you love about being Hatian?
the food, the culture, the dancing, the music

What is it you hate?
The jokes ignorant people got sometimes
The sexism some of the men display
The beatings son. haitians dont play

Can you make lambi? (sidebar --i love that shit) lol!
oh man.*hangs head in shame* i can't
i've failed as a human being
Well thats how folk tell it

I'll get to the other ones tomorrow
I really gotta stop saying shit then not doing it

Friday, May 23, 2008


thnx for the concern folk
i read all ur comments although im too lazy to respond to all 1500 of them
im still alive
went to a bootleg party last night
got a new weave
sorry to leave u hangin
ill be back in true form Saturday

until we meet again

Saturday, May 17, 2008

What's next bastards?

Im friggin pissed off
I spent 1500 fuckin hours finishing that story crap and blogger wanted to be a bitch
i am not writing all that shit over again
atleast not right now

I lost my wallet
This friggin soar throat that has me wanting to shoot somebody everytime i swallow
This runny nose thats tryna be the friggin Nile river
*gritted teeth*

did i mention that i fuckin slipped and fell in the tub and banged my back against the faucet?

yeah bastards
what's next?

ps: you're never too old to throw a tantrum


it gets better

dry hackin cough?


rising temperature?


please send help

It's 6:14
i haven't slept yet

*continues feeble attempt at tantrum*

Thursday, May 15, 2008

There i was, sitting on the library couch
what seemed a cross betweeen maniacal and hysterical laughter emanating deep from my gut,
when i realized my friends were kinda lookin at me funny
Glory Dana was givin Andrani the conspiratorial side eye and Tiffany looked like she wanted to back away from me very slowly

I didn't even fuckin know why i was laughin
scratch that
I was laughin like a crazy bitch because i had made it out alive

I guess this is where i do the whole flashback bullshit and actually tell you about the fight
or is this where I go to the very beginning and give you the bootleg backstory?

I'll just pretend you said backstory


I'll just get to the fight

It was lunchtime at Shell Bank junior highschool so ofcourse all the eighth graders were chilling in the courtyard
But that day something was different

i'm just bein stupid now

but there was some bootleg function going on, so all three grades were out in the court yard at the same time

So me and the gang (in the very loosest sense of the term. Band of misfits were we) were just hanging around on the staircase
It was a while ago so
i can't recall what the fuck it was we were talking about
What i do know is that within a matter of minutes i'd be thrust into a situation not of my own making

*insert retarded laughter here*

So yeah
i was seated on the banister just minding my own friggin business when i saw them
i said a silent prayer that there would be no friggin drama as i watched them exit the lunchroom doors and i swear it seemed an eternity before they made it up them damn steps

then of course the bitches had to start in on some bullshit

I dont remember the heifa's name but she gave me the ill up and down grill followed by scowl followed by evil grin followed by
can't quite remember her exact words but basically she called me a brokedown bitch and proceeded to crack on my Jordan's

they were a few months old
i admit i was never the fashion forward type
i hardly matched
seldom had the name brand shit
but really
why is this bitch worried?
is she gon pay for that friggin makeover she says i need?

Ok the bitch got off on belittling folk
you've had your laughs
can i go now?

yall know ima smartass right?
so i can hear some of yall wonderin why the hell i aint say shit
Well i'm real big on the 'smart' part

So all them smart comebacks knew betta than to come out my mouth and get all of our asses beat

If i had known what was gon happen just a few minutes later tho
ida .....

to be friggin continued
im lazy
u already know this
sue me

We were a ragtag bunch
and not equipped for physical altercation to be sure

Glory Dana was practically on some midget status
Andrani was tall sure but skinny as all hell (had folk wondering if she had an eating disorder- skinny)
and Tiffany
well let's just say she hung out with me out of convenience. truth be told she had gotten unceremoniously kicked out of the cool kids club
and figured she'd be nice to me when she had no other alternative
We reached a semi-friendly relationship tenuously held together via our connection thru Andrani
but this heifa wouldnt jump in to save nobody's ass.ya dig?

So there i stood
(im pretty sure i said that already. ill probably say it atleast two more times in the course of this recanting crap)

She-devil and her cronies got their laughs in as a few more seemingly devastating barbs were flung my way
some other crap about my clothes and lack of hair
(i really was practically immune to that bullshit. heard too much of it for it to sting. However never having been in a fight before, i for sure was
worried bout ending up dead
no folk
no exaggeration was this
these lil ghetto ass kids had busted up a girl's head not too long before
I really could not afford to be rendered a friggin vegetable or
have to have what lil hair i did have get chopped off so doctor's could sew up my dome)

you know bitches can smell fear right?
so i just kept my characteristic 'i don't give a fuck' face

a coupla "ugly bitch"s
rolled eyes
and thinly veiled threats at premeditated murder later

they walked away

you could see the satisfaction seeping from their eventually to be rotting in hell flesh

i breathed a sigh of relief as me and the gang climbed down the steps and made our way to the benches nestled away under the trees just a few feet from the base of the steps

So ofcourse this is where i decided i was gon say all the comebacks that shoulda came out my mouth when crazy heifas were all in my face
don't judge

That's when i saw them descending the ashphalt steps and they sure did look like they were itchin for some drama
no thanks

the gang and i decided to kick our asses in gear and head inside the lunch room

We almost made it
approximately ten feet stood between my black ass and freedom from a beatdown
but alas
twas not to be

Who should come bursting through the lunchroom doors but more of the evil bitch crew variety
insert long sigh here

the rest to be up tomorrow
get over it
ungrateful bastards

yall lucky my ADD ass managed to write this much
for real
yall should thank me

there i was
insert frantic look over shoulder here
enemy forces encroaching upon me at the rear
split second reconaissance was in order

I wont lie folk
i was scared shitless
"fight or flight motherfucker"
my animal brain was screamin at me
"fight or flight"

now let's see

I attempt to run away
(we all know what they say bout running from ferocious dogs right?
get intercepted by the adversary and not only catch a massive beatdown but have to be labeled a punk ass bitch
for the rest of my junior high school existence


hell no

fight it is

I tried to look as hardcore as my 14 year old self could manage

i'd be damned if they'd see me squirm
whatever went down, i was goin down fighting
(this as i tried to recall any and all Power Ranger moves i had in my arsenal.Yes folk. i was serious.)

dun dun dun duuuuuuuun
it's called suspense bastards

yeah i know this aint no friggin soap opera
im annoying
story to be completed by midnight

the thin layer of bravado i managed to summon enabled me to stand there
head held high
limbs steady (which sure as hell surprised me)

Next thing i knew i was surrounded
thirsty blood sucking instigators and onlookers had made their way downstairs
I don't know how they knew
but the fuckers always knew

"Why yall just standing there?" came one
"She aint gon do shit" came another
yet another called for my beatdown to commence posthaste (ha. i just love that word. dont you?)

The whole time i just stared into T'shaya's face
I could tell she didnt really wanna fight me
She was in the sixth grade
I was in the eighth
I was tall
She was short
well not really
She was of average height

She just seemed short is all
Reminded me of a lil girl tryna play dress up
Drowning in her mother's gown
lipstick smeared across her face
She just wasn't in her element
tryna play with the big dogs but it just didnt fit

She drew her courage from the jeers of the crowd
from my hold on inner fortitude, thin as it was

in that moment, i kinda felt sorry for her
It was a shame too
we were friendly once

Then the bitch slapped me
you can be sure all that shit went out the proverbial window

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I wish a muhfuka would

When's the last time you got into an argument?why?
When's the last time you got into a physical altercation?why?
What is something you would fight for/over?
Ever got hurt while tryna break up a fight?

I'll answer these later tonight
regale you with the story of how i got jumped

oh man
i always laugh when i think about it

see ya later folk

the rest of the answers to the question session wil be up Friday and Saturday

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

ill be back

we (all the lil people in my head) will be returning to regularly scheduled programming tomorrow


Tell me something good

Friday, May 9, 2008

Dia de las preguntas 1

First off
I was gon post this shit since yesterday but blogger was actin a damn fool

On to las preguntas

1. chicken or fish
what kinda dumb ass question is this?lol
both of course
but if i gotta pick the one, it'd be fish
more variety

2. if a bug was in your bedroom, would you kill it or set it free?
If it's flyin, it's livin
if it's crawlin it's dyin

3. clinton or obama?
i baracked the vote in the primary election and for sure will do the same in the general if he should be the democratic nominee

4. when was the last time that you cussed somebody out?
i do that every friggin day but the last time i actually did it out of genuine anger was last night
my lil brother was actin a bitch so i had to let him know

5. when was the last time that you cried?
ok dont friggin laugh at me. Thursday i shed a few tears of frustration. I was doin my hair before heading to
the play (i was late mind you)but my afro wasnt comin out right. I cursed up a friggin storm then grew the hell up.lmao. dont friggin judge me

6. can you sing?
uh im not horrible but im not good either
doomed to mediocrity

7. do you and your brother fight?
The question is when dont we fight
We havent got into a physical altercation in a minute tho
Friggin bastards
I miss the days when i could kick their ass

8. what's in your cd player right now or on heavy rotation on ya ipod?
Giants of Jazz
Louis Armstrong meets Duke Ellington
shouts to mad-dad

9. how many TRUE friends do you have? less than 10, less than 5, more than 10, more than 20?
4 sounds about right

10. can you play an instrument?
i play a bootleg sax
i got one sitting in the corner of my damn room that i aint touched in years

11. what was your favorite toy growing up?
my quiz wiz

12. what do you like about the 12th Planet? Shameless self plug*exit stage left*
haha.the regular posting and love the whole post accompanied by lyrics thing

Blogger Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

taking this from the mega

who is your blog crush?
im doomed to love folk who dont love me back
but on the real if i visit ur blog on any bootleg regular basis
i got love for u
I will not open myself up for blog rejection dammit

can u tell me what a blog dump is?
i guess when someone used to visit ur blog on the regular but doesnt any longer
*unsure look*

why dont u rock the fro no more?
what u talkin bout Torrance?
the fro is my thing
im rockin it right now

Thursday, May 8, 2008


i was gon do a post today but after them measly comments on the last one...

yeah right

where's the outpouring of concern and well wishes?

im up for any questions yall might have

hit me
i like that

im gon go see Cry Baby on Broadway today
ill post on it tonight

i saw Slater in A Chorus Line the other day

he has no ass

i been slackin on my bloghoppin
ima remedy that sooner or later
sooner than later

When I Get You Alone

What would you do if u could spend a day with the person of your dreams?

so yeah
ask away

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

dang. tellem why u mad son

i thought i had wrote responses to ur friggin comments but apparently that up and disappeared on me
oh well
im too lazy to do it over right now
maybe later
probly not
just know i read ur crap

a real post should be up tomorrow
i procrastinate like a mother so i got final papers comin out my ass

wish me luck

Karyn White-Superwoman

What's been gettin on your nerves lately?

Monday, May 5, 2008

The Art of Stealing Souls

the title of this post refers to the belief that a photgraph can steal a soul

Know anybody that believes that?

“How sad it is! I shall grow old, and horrid, and dreadful. But this picture will remain always young. It will never be older than this particular day of June. . . . If it was only the other way! If it was I who were to be always young, and the picture that were to grow old! For this--for this--I would give everything! Yes, there is nothing in the whole world I would not give!”
Oscar Wilde (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)

Picture taking is something i enjoy doing
I'm not a bootleg professional by any means
I just like taking photographs for posterity's sake

Something to show the great great grandkids (yes i plan on being around that long. That's if we don't fuck up the world by then)
I have only a handful of pics of the moms in her younger days
and only one of the pops (insert sad face)

No pics of them under the age of 20

Have you had any family heirlooms passed down to you?
Do you have pics of your parents when they were younger?
What are some things/keepsakes you have around that remind you of your grandparents?

As a first generation Haitian American, i'm terrified of not passing down my culture to the mini-me's that are to come
My grasp of Haitian creole is mediocre at best
but i'm determined to pass on the little bit i do know down to any big headed bastards that should exit my womb

Are any of you first generation citizens?

I need to get up on the haitian cuisine. That shit is delicious
I however, am too friggin lazy to put in the effort
i really should get the moms to write down her recipes for me
That woman knows her way around a kitchen

The ole haitian immigrant is always regaling me with friggin stories of his youth
I started to write them down but ima start recording them instead
(If things go according to plan, he's gon kick the bucket before i do
I already know ima be actin a fool all splayed over the casket
awwwww. now im bootleg sad)
Those pics,recordings, and writings are going to be the only tangible things i'll have left of the old bag

Thursday, May 1, 2008

rhymes revisited

Every once in a while
I hit u with a lil poetry
It's been a minute
For those who appreciate, thnx
for those who don't, __________________________
(fill in the blank. make it creative)

your tune was never mine
yet somehow you figured that with time, the melody by which you lived your life would somehow find me
the staff lines would somehow
reach out and bind me as u took notes,
constantly glancing down at your watch as you'd
time me
my tick always your tock and to you,
my clock never did keep time right
frustrated because i was never in a hurry to reach that limelight
preferred to cool out to them tunes of Timelife and keep it soft and...


I sat there trying to string words together,
to no avail.
Them pearls of wisdom
kept falling from my hands
clumsy fingers trying to cling to them and make sense of the unthinkable
She's wanted this for so bad and for so long
she's held onto hope.
imagining that there must be a way
cuz God wouldnt do this to her
leave her soul aching for something she could never have?
The one thing she yearned to know?
I looked into her face
The same one that held all the promise of tomorrow,



She glowed
damn near beamed when i let her know.
No light lingers there now

I knew something was wrong
the second
i picked up the phone
you there?

I lost the baby"

It's been a week now and she hasn't left the house
can't say that i blame her
Can't say anything, in fact.
I just hold her tear streamed face into my shoulder
and glance down at the blanket she refuses to let go


Im not sure where i am
who i am
floating in dismal purgatory
in the grander scheme of things i really am
unless i endeavor to be something to someone else
They say that the mark of a great person is the footprint they leave in the heart of others
no heavy impressions have i made
Hard to do when u tread lightly