Music: vernacular of the soul


Saturday, January 19, 2008

crazy folk love them some me

crazy folk love them some Diana. Im just saying everywhere i go i come across them psychotic fools. no place is safe. not even church.

incident1: this new guy comes to the church. He's some fresh off the boat Haitian immigrant so his english is not so good ya dig? nyway.a family from the church was moving from bk to florida so we threw a going away party for them. I'm sitting chilling with the girls and i can see ole boy grillin me like i was a fuckin t-bone steak or something then he has the nerve to sit next to me. Why the fuck for??!!!! mad empty seats and shit but this nuccah sees fit to sit all on top of me. Needy ass. I try my best to ignore the lustful looks he's throwin my damn way but then ole boy had to open his friggin mouth. Now if we wasn't chillin at a church thing, i woulda done me and acted a damn fool but i humored his damn ass. He asked me my name. i told him. Asked me if i lived in bk, i said yeah. Then tell me why dude asked for my number??!! Well hell!! This nuccah was a bold and dumb fuck. A lethal combo (lethal for him, not me). I gave him this look but did this nuccah get a damn hint and move from in fronta me before i did some dumb mess??!! No cuz his ass was crazy. He then decided to tell me he was in love with me.hell. u aint spoke but two words to a sistah. i'm fly but i aint that fly. Then i start thinkin maybe the language thing is throwin him off and he means 'like' not 'love' but no, that'd be too easy. He then says he wants to marry me. whatnahell?!?!?!Then tell me why this nuccah had the nerve to throw God into it talkin bout " i know God sent me here so i could meet you." The whole time i'm literally shakin my head in disbelief. He then proceeds to tell me that before the year is out we'll be engaged. You know a sistah had to get the hell up out her seat before she said something she'd regret. I got up off the balcony tryna head back inside. Why'd this dumb fuck follow me askin for my number still?!?!?!? I told him in no uncertain terms that he had a George Bush jr.'s chance in the ghetto of that happening. You'd think he'd get it right? But like i said he's crazy, so he didnt get it. Tell me why he was askin around for my number? ugh. This fool doesn't even live in bk anymore but i hear he stay sayin im his future wifey. I met the dude once. One fuckin time. whatnahell?!?!?!?

incident two: I went to the movies to catch the The Great Debaters and me and my homegirl Fi' are just sittin waiting for the friggin dumb previews to be done. This old head comes and sits two seats away from me. I got the feeling that if my bag wasn't there he woulda sat his black ass right nex to me. nyway. I can feel him staring me down so i'm giving him the side eye. I say watever plus the movie's startin up so i forget about ole dude. Then. it happens. i see a movement outta the corner of my eye and i catch him touchin himself. I said hell naw!! but i decided maybe he's just adjustin his ole self. I continue to watch the movie and i catch him 'sneakin' glances at me. SMH. of all the damn emoty seats in the theatre....nyway. I keep my head fixed forward even though i'm aware of where his nastly ole hands are at all times. then his ass does it again. This time his hand stays there too long for me to front like he's just fixin his shit. I turn to my friend and let her know what's up. By the time i turn back he's diggin around in his bag and i hear plastic ruffling. i'm like oh hell naw?!??!? what he gon do? pull out some lube and get to work right there??!! Nah he doesn't do that. He just starts watching the movie again. I breathe a sigh of relief and get back to the screen. I hear it again tho. he's riflin through his bag again and his hand is in the vicinity of his balls again and this ole freak is staring in my damn direction. I've had enough. I turn to tell my friend we need to move to another isle or something but when i turn back around, ole head is nowhere to be found. Guess he got his nut and bounced. Thank you Lord. so i got to enjoy the rest of the damn movie.

incident 3: I went to KFC ( no black jokes please) the other day and as i was waiting on line some dude comes in and stands in line behind me. Normal right? yeah well that was until his crazy ass decided to start mumbling to his damn self behind
me. I'm praying that the friggin person at the counter will hurry the hell up so i can get my shit and get the hell away from this damn fool. No can do cuz of course the universe is plottin against me. Anyway i finally get up to the counter and i'm placin my order(10 boneless honey bbq wings and two biscuits in case u were curious). Why dude decides to stand next to me lean against the counter and stare at my ass?!! Crazy folk really need to leave me the hell alone. My order finally arrives so i head to the back where my homegirl is waitin and get to eatin my KFC.(them biscuits were bangin by the way). So i like to people watch and i'm sitting near the window just watchin folk walk by when i catch a glimpse of dude's reflection in the glass. I can see him starin but no way is my black ass gonna acknowledge this crazy fool. He finally leaves and why does this dumbass stop right in fronta the window and smile at me like we're long lost friend's or something?!?!?

incident 4: same KFC. only bout two minutes after the last incident. Some other crazy that was in there ( but who i didnt notice cuz i was keeping my eyes on crazy no.1)stays smiling at me just before he starts to head out. I breathe i sigh of relief but of course i did so too early. This other idiot decides to follow the lead of his brother in insanity and stand by the friggin window makin love faces and pointing at me(This freak of nature is sportin some bootleg Snoop Dogg on meth rockin permed locks and he had the nerve to have a damn woman's head scarf on too smh) (just imagine him wearing the scarf instead)
So my friend is there and since she's standing by the door cuz we bout to go, she didnt notice this crazy dude until i signaled for her to check out the window with my eyes. She starts dying of laughter and since it was funny so did i. As we leave, the crazy fool decides to try to talk to my black ass. I was not stickin around to see if he was one a them nonviolent freaks so i hightailed it outta there.

I need some damn insanity repellent or something
It never friggin fails. The crazies always find me.

Come To My Window

Never Gonna Give You Up

I Belong To You

12 public opinion:

mp1 v.8.0 said...

you call it crazy repellant. I call it pepper spray. What's messed up is that I'm starting to get the carzy's attention. I'll have to expound on it.

Oh and Mr. Haiti must've had a vision from God. How dare you block his vision!

And the lesson learned from KFC is don't eat there. They trying to kill you any ways. This coming from a former KFC employee. You should go to Popeyes instead! lol

Rashan Jamal said...

I feel you on the crazy repellent. I need me an industrial strength sized can.

LMAO @ pee wee herman in the movie theater.

Anu boy said...

oops, isn't that a little too much for you...

oh well, there must be something about you thats attracting them people....

don't mind me, i am just trying to be funny, well thank God you are ok...

have a fun week

dejanae said...

mad-dad: u gettin the crazies too
gon head n expound

rashan: it wasnt quite so funny when he was doing that shit

anu boy: i think there may be some truth to what ur saying. maybe i have a slow deteriorating mental condition and they can sense this. hence their need to approach me bcuz they feel some typa bond or something.

same to u on the fun week thing
don't b a stranger

One Man’s Opinion said...

Damn, you and my big sister. Yall be giving off crazy vibes...LOL. 10 Honey B-B Que wings and TWO biscuits. Damn, girl. LOL

Boutique Patrice said...

you're the common factor in all the incidents, you might want to check your crazy factor! lol

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

gurl, u be still baling LOL

dejanae said...

i'm mad you had the 2 biscuits in caps
but damned if i wasnt still hungry after i finished eatin it tho
them boneless wings are mad small son

i said
the universe is playin tricks on me
aint my fault
atleast i dont think so

you got it twisted
i'm the sane one
it was them other cats that was trippin

guerreiranigeriana said... are crazy...damn...i don't miss the crazies at all!!!!...the ones in atlanta smelled really bad and the look that usually worked in la did not faze those fools...good luck...haha...and i'm with mp1 v.8.0...stay the fuck away from kfc...why the hell are you eating there anyway?...*jumps off her soapbox*...

guerreiranigeriana said...

your pics are hilarious...what does smh mean? use it a lot and i am completely lost each time...

dejanae said...

kfc is addictive but
i really only indulge like 5 times a year
smh:shakin my head

SongDynasty said...

New York. That side eye jerk off thing has happened to me countless amounts of times. Keep in mind when I'm on trains now, I always make sure to sit in a car with the conductor so that I could jump up at first sign of fapping. It's like that.

Gotta say, it keeps the days interesting though. See how many stories it gave you? *grin*