TMI-ooh baby baby-push it real good

Guess who's pregnant?
Actually i guess the question should be: guess who's not pregnant?
cuz everywhere i friggin turn another person is getting pregnant or poppin something out their vagina (a few c-sections thrown in there but u get what i'm sayin)

Ever saw a live birth?
Man i don't care how much you want kids. That shit is not beautiful
Yeah you'll think about it later and spout shit like: The day God gave me my lil Jayjay Aybaybay Beebee-Morris Starsky jr. was the most wonderful day of my life". They might even mean it but trust, that's not what lil jayjay's mama was thinkin when she was tryna squeeze his linebacker shoulders past her cervix.

I ain't tryna get struck down or nothing but we women got the raw end of the deal
I done had me some convos wit God about this
We gotta be the one's getting shafted.pun intended
Menstrual cycles (fuck evolution. Shouldn't it have done away with the whole menstruating mess eons ago?)I mean it serves no damn purpose. Bleeding like a friggin stuck pig.
and last but not least, the pregnancy thing

I'm just sayin tho.
God coulda evened it out some
how bout the dudes have kids?
or at the very least breastfeed
Folk always talkin bout 'man up'
how bout u 'woman up'? punk ass motherfucker

and no i'm not PMSing

You know what gets me? Guys talkin bout they afraid of what their wives/girlfriends/babymamas are gon look like after they have kids. Praying they gon maintain their shape. Well hell. Atleast if ole girl puts on 50 pounds she had an excuse. Your ass wasn't pregnant but you sure don't look the same way you did when she got wit u. All i'm sayin is if i go out wit my husband and he orders me a salad, i'm giving him the look of death and ima handle his ass when we get home.

Baby can i get some?
some what?
ass?
How bout hell no. Not 'I have a headache' or 'i'm tired' or some other shit like that
You not getting none cuz you was acting like one earlier today
moral of the story is: u act like an ass, u get no ass
unless u wanna go buy urself a doll

speaking of dolls
check this shit out
SMDH




I don't need to hear bout lil junebug's first day of kindergarten. I'm just sittin here on the bus tryna get off in five stops so i can get home. You decided to sit ur old ass next to me (when the bus is practically empty) pull out ur wallet and tell me bout your grandson.Why? And i can't even catch an attitude wit ur old ass cuz ur ancient relic self might have a heart attack. See this fake smile that's not reaching my eyes?? That's me humoring you. Get the damn message and shut the hell up!!! Finally my stop is here. Oh hell naw. Why is this old lady bout to get off too??!!Please God, be a hip injury so i can make a hasty retreat.

Now i really dont care what other folks do like that
You wanna sleep with 10 girls/guys in the span of two weeks, more power to you
But when ur ass has to go on Maury 9 times and u still aint found ur babydaddy
or when you done fathered 6 kids by 5 different women
You need a friggin intervention
I'm not saying forced sterilization is right
but hey.....

isn't she so cute?
what im 'posed to say?
Hell no ur baby looks like a cross between quasimodo and Gollum?




"umm yeah...she is"
i had to catch myself before i could recoil in disgust and say what was really on my mind