rhymes revisited-almost doesn't count

if i give u my heart, will i get it back broken?
see my insecurities lie just under the surface but roots dig deep
these are not the cursory worries that people have of giving of themselves
i've had hopes shattered too often to dream
don't get me wrong
i'm not searching for pity
a life of regrets doesn't offer much for the soul
but i don't think i can afford to take the chances that others do
giving all too much of myself
and always seeming to play the recurring role of the fool
so before you offer me platitudes of how you'll never make me cry
and how you see the future in my eyes
cut the crap and tell me something real
i only consider it romance if the words are actualized
like dreams never realized and love never materialized
almost doesn't count
never did

_____________________________________________

i never wanted to be this

this
empty shell of what should have
could have
would have been
If only i could traverse the space and time continuum
have my future self warn my past self that he was just
no
fucking
good

see
i thought, i really did believe that he loved me
took his words at face value when he said he'd always want me
didnt question the new scent i smelled when he'd hug me cuz i just knew
he'd never do me dirty
and figured we'd have no reason for this thing i thought was love to end
cuz what could be better than good fuckin from ur very best friend
and i just knew i laid it on him,
4 inch stilettos on , and on and on until the early hours of the morn and

I don't even know why i'm cryin
because i said the last time was the last time
but i'm steady here, soul dyin, tears no closer to dryin, and fuck it
there's no denyin

i still


love him
_______________________________________________

I wonder how i will be remembered when i pass
So far i've led a pretty unremarkable life
i'm working on that

I reminisce, i reminisce


what i'm listening to right now:


reminds me of “Children For Sale”, a Dateline NBC documentary on the issue of child sex trafficking.



smh.sad ain't even the word