Music: vernacular of the soul


Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Who killed Kenny?

Guess who went to the gym yesterday?

gladiator status son
we gon do this

I havent been to the gym in a minute
so i was for sure feelin that shit yesterday
bootleg sports conditioning class was kicking my ass

Expounding on the bootleg confessions

I almost Killed Christmarlon


that's the lil bro
he's 7 years younger

see what had happened was....
My mother would wake me up while she was making breakfast and tell me to wake up my brothers and make sure they got ready for school. This bastard never wanted to get his ass up. Mind you, he'd wake up if my moms told him to, but he'd act a damn fool when i'd tell him to get his lazy ass off the bed.
Yo i was kinda evil with it
pinching, slapping him upside the head, punching, kicking him
(i'm not an evil person
yet he wouldn't get his ass off to the friggin bathroom
Then i'd get in trouble when moms would inevitably have to come in the room and do it herself.
cue "Apal na caban la toujours?" (that's my bootleg attempt at writing creole.basically means "Why is he still in bed?")
And of course since the lil bastard would be all accommodating when she woke him up, she assumed that i didnt really try to wake him up
she wasnt witness to the kicks to the ass i gave him. This boy just refused to listen to me. Still doesnt

OK to the incident
Christ was actin a fool that day like usual. Moms woke him up and he went in the bathroom to wash up before school.
Moms was on the phone in the bedroom and i was catchin some Mighty Max on the television in the livingroom. Got bootleg hungry so i was passing thru the hallway to get some grub. I saw the idiot on the floor,his head slumped over, back leaning against the edge of the tub, eyes closed.
I just looked at his black ass and kept it moving to the kitchen. Came out the kitchen with my eggs on toast
looked towards the bathroom
and lil man was still there on the floor
this time he was groaning softly
i looked at him
rolled my eyes
and kept it moving
Mighty Max was still on

not a minute later, I heard a shriek the likes of which i've never heard before or since
Then my moms was calling out my name
"Diana, Diana, vin la. fere vit. Rele 911, rele 911"(bootleg creole again)
"Diana come here quick. call 911!!!Call911!!!"
So of course i ran to the hallway
And i stopped when i saw moms in the bathroom crying and cradling Christmarlon's head in her hand
Then she pulled her hand from behind his head
It was covered in blood
My heart just about stopped
then i got my ass in gear
I ran to the room and called the popo
gave the dispatcher the relevant info
I ve only been scared like that one other time in my life( i'll get to that story later today. maybe)
A few minutes later 4 firefighters came thru the apartment and pulled him unconscious, onto a gurney headed to Kings County hospital
(When I saw them i was like: ummm there aint no fire...where the paramedics at?lol but since they were the closest they responded first)
He sustained serious trauma to the head.Had to get his dome stitched up.Had some internal bleeding blah blah blah
but on the real
They said lil man coulda died if he hadn't gotten to the hospital when he did
Now yall might be saying : "Hold up. Didn't she say she passed by and saw him lying on the ground twice before moms was even screaming?"
but come on
i'm not that evil
I thought he was playing around
He was always fakin like he was sick or exhausted and shit so i assumed this was just another one of his attempts to get on my damn nerves
But maaaaaaaaaan
When i found out shit was serious
You coulda slapped me and i wouldn't have noticed
I felt so guilty that day
i guess i should add this part
He'd slipped and fell on the wet floor and busted his head open against the side of the tub
Why was the floor wet?
Well i had washed my sneaks the day before and hungem to dry

Moral of the story:
Don't cry wolf

and dont leave ur wet sneakers hangin

*came back to add*
there was no lasting damage
except for a bootleg scar on the back of his head
he aiiiiiight

when we get into fights, i tell him
i saw the blood and left him laying there on purpose

he told me to take down that first pic bcuz he looks a mess
i will not
aint noone told him to try and get his llcoolj on. licking his lips and

27 public opinion:

Freaky Deaky said...

That was serious. Glad he's okay.

Did you ever get in trouble for the wet sneakers?

Anonymous said...

its good he's ok... why did you put the sneakers in the bathroom? could you not let them dry outside?

Opinionated Diva said...

Wow...I still don't think that was your fault.

I was in charge of waking up my sister too...and her AZZ (as I have mentioned on the blog numerous times) loves to sleep. So what I'd do is wet a washcloth with ICE WATER and throw it on her face. times that!

swag_ambassador said...

That shit sound real familiar cause somethn like that happened tuh me when i was 9.. playin hide n seek, had all the neighbors n the house when they werent sposed to be on summer break, im runnin to the base, get pushed by the white girl, hit tha corner of the wall, and bust ma head to tha white meat.. blood spurtin out like a horror movie.. and alllthewhile ma sisters lookin from round tha corna thinkin im playin...stitches n shit..

older sistas are some

The Jaded NYer said...


Well... I dropped my sister on her head, literally, when she was a baby. She was in the car seat, but not buckled up, on top of my bed. She kept fussin when I was tryna play Barbie so I put her in there but didn't bother to buckle her in. So she slid out...

But I swear it was an accident. And she's fine now. graduated from Cornell n everything. So just shut up! LOL

Glad your brother is OK. Does he know it was your wet sneakers?? lol

Anonymous said...


That's just as bad as when the garage door fell on my brother only I was inside the house thinking why this bitchass crying for mami?

of course I went to see him

12kyle said...

Isn't it good to be able to laugh about it now?? That was scary, tho

"Don't cry wolf

That sounds like a typical big sis.

Anonymous said...

Glad you are able to laugh about it now.

1/3 of what I used to be said...

wow thats serious. I'm glad he's ok. I dont think its your fault. Like you said he did cry wolf alot. I bet yall are closer now because of it.

Ms Sula said...

You know you love that kid to death... Lol! Look at you looking at him!

And you guys could pass for twins.


A journey to find me said...

OMG! I'm glad that ur brother is okay. I remember when I found my grandmother in the bathroom passed out. I lost my fucking mind!!!

But anyways, ur brother is fine now so u can go back to kicking his ass and such lol. If I had a little brother thats actually what I would be doing. You can't let their heads get too big lol.

P.S- Thanks for stoppin by my blog. You know I had to return the favor :)

soumynona said...

Im sure you two had so much "fun" growing up together. He looks up to you. There's nothing like having a cool big sis
btw, keep your wet sneaks out the bathroom please!!!

Rashan Jamal said...

Yeah, you didn't almost kill almost left him to die. There's a big difference. That had to be scary though..

karrie b. said...

damnnnnnnnnnn deej.

looks like y'all are getting along in the pic. he looks just like you! lil' cutie.

glad he's ok.


Desy said...

ummmm, i'mma have to ask you to upgrade that creole ms.

i can just see the haitian experience now... musta been chaotic

i'm glad he's all good... definately looks like a Kremas drinker fo

Queen of My Castle said...

Wow!The sad thing is I kept waiting for you to scream out "April's Fool!!" but you never did. My little sissy had her nogging bust wide open before, too.

Glad the lil man is cool now.

Pajnstl said...

lil bro kinda cute. lol

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

you and your brother and a trip...

well thanK God we can laugh about the incident, it could have been a different story Glad he came out aight,

Ms. emmotions said...

thank God he came out ok,
idiot, fool, e.t.c can u plz stop using them for ur bro?

lol, nice blog

dejanae said...

@freaky deaky:
i sure did

the apartment door?

@opinionated diva:
sounds like good times
i shoulda tried that

younger brothers are some idiots
now wat?


yeah he knows
claims i did it on purpose
come on now
if i was tryna kill him, he'd be dead already

he came out ok right?

it's the truth

@thoughts of a southern gal:
we joke about it all the time

yeah the lil bugger is fine
have him tell it,it was attempted murder


@a journey to find me:
i for sure try to kick his ass
it was much easier to do back in the day

for sure.ill see u round

it should be, but he claims as uncool a sister as they get
pleeeeeeeeaaase. You know im
ha.lesson learned man

well thats the way he puts it

he does NOT look like

ha. i do need to actually learn to write it
yep.future AA member i tell u

@queen of my castle:
nah. not big on the APRIL foolin stuff
im assuming she survived to bother u another

uh huh
yeah riiiiiiiight

ida kinda felt bad if he died or

@ms emmotions:
wats the fun in that tho?

Anonymous said...

Maybe stupider but I think that was just going to be his natural progression anyways?! LOL

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

you are not to blame at all,i hpe hes aight. god damn he looks the splitting image of you.

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

i need to start keeping up with your posts im always,2-3 posts behind

or maybe you post a bit faster than

dejanae said...


freshand fab:
NO he does not
folk need to stop saying that mess
yeah i post a lot. no social life does that

Ms. emmotions said...

no fun at all dear, just couldnt help laughing at how much luv this post oozes out for ur bro and ur choice of words,
not that it matters...i mean them words, i guess i find that am liking him just by reading this post and then protecting him,


dejanae said...

ms emmotions:
right back atcha

Coye said...

Well written article.