Music: vernacular of the soul


dj

Thursday, December 13, 2007

mating call

So i was out in the field today observing the mating rituals of the brownskinned streetdwellers otherwise known as the stay-hanging-out-on-the-block-aint-got-a-damn-job-probably-living with-they-mama-sorry-ass-negro (now do you see why i had to shorten it to brownskinned-streetdwellers). So anyway, I was walking down Flatbush Ave headed to the gym and this ignorant motherfucker decides that a mating call would be the perfect thing to get my attention. It sounded something like a cross between a rutting beast and a battle cry. WTF is that shit? i really thought we had evolved past the point where mating calls were necessary but apparently he didn't think so. He kept on with his mating/xena warrior princess battle cry routine for a block. 'soo wehing' the whole time. What the hell is SOO WEH???!!! SMH. Now i've heard of the mating call stories, just never experienced it first hand . I guess that must be why i got a double dose of it today. Yes i said double dose. This other idiot not even 2 blocks later decides to "woo-sa!!" my ass. I was lookin at the idiot like shut the hell up dumb ass motherfucker. He obviously did not get the look of utter contempt i threw at him because he decided to slow his car to a crawl and try to holla at me. Now i'm mad but i'm also wondering how many times his mating call then stalking routine has worked for him in the past. He seemed hella confident that i would get in his car with him and, how'd he put it again?, "go party with him and his boys". Ummm since when did party become a euphemism for orgy or gangbang???. I think i'll pass. Ugh. The sad thing is that for every female with half a brain cell that would dismiss these sorry ass nuccahs, there's one who will smile and hop into the friggin car like it aint nothing but a thing.

Whatever next

I got my workout in today. Made up for the other day's laziness but i'm sore as hell and my shoulders are mad at me. I think i kind of overdid it tryna compete with this sixty something year old lady in my weight training class. Yes you read correctly. The old bastard stays makin me look bad. I be all tired wanting to put the weights down and i glance over and the old bag is smiling. SMILING DAMN IT!!!!!!! Who does that? So of course i can't quit because i'll be damned if i'm letting some prehistoric relic out-anything me. Damn you Frida. DAMN YOU. (I don't know if that's her name but it sounds about right). Okay honestly. She has to be on something. Has to.

3 public opinion:

mp1 said...

Damn. Mating calls?? That is so damn funny! I dont know how yall can out up with it or how it works with some women. I guess its just the way of the world.

You letting Ethel outwork you? Come on, d!! you got to do better!! If you need a connect on the "supplements", come holla @ me. lol

mp1 said...

Maybe it's the maturation process? Us men aint as quick as yall. Maybe their evolution aint on ya level. They still on some neanderthal shidd

Thic Flair said...

YO, one of the fellas in my crew once told a story about a call his brother did to some women, the shit was so obserd that we use it now to each other.

I'm glad that they didn't decide to club you as I'm sure they had the low slopping forhead and large jaw action going while dragging the knuckles on the ground.