random tandem yahoo messenger edition

Okay so these random craps are inspired by yahoo messenger conversations that i've had.

If you want a lil bit of e-fame

message me...lol

names will be changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent

except for those who give express permission (suuuuuuuuuure)

okay two new sayings

saying no.1:

"Go fuck a dugong!!!!!!!"

LMAO

okay

here's how the convo went:

change *******: oh my

change *******: im gonna be sick

change *******: i forget what percent they said

change *******: but they said that a LOT of men reported having sex with animals

change *******: and they said

dejanae411: lmao

dejanae411: random much?

change *******: that dugongs feel like women

change *******: im watching tv

dejanae411 : lmao

dejanae411 : dugongs?

dejanae411 : huh?

change *******: yeah

change *******: its a fucking fish

dejanae411 : puhahahahaha

change *******: literally

change *******: so ancient sailors

change *******: used to fuck them

dejanae411 : man

dejanae411 : thanks for the lesson

dejanae411 : ima use that

dejanae411 : go fuck a dugong

change *******: LMAO

so apparently horny ass sailors/pirates at sea would sex up these sea cows cuz the claim was it felt like slippin into a vagina.lol. These same drunk idots that mistook manatees and walruses for mermaids. SMH. yeah riiiiiiiiiight. I can see them now; debatin over who's the better lay: manatees, walruses, or dugongs. The bestiality practicin drunks were just tryna find excuses. Does that look like a mermaid to you?

other variations/sayings: "Man what took you so long? you was fuckin a dugong?" or "I'm so horny, i could fuck a dugong"

Thicflair's contribution-- a new pickup line: You're lookin kind of dugongish. Rawr!!!!

translation: You're looking fuckable!!!!!

Special thanks to Thicflair, Spike TV, Manswers, and Yahoo for without which, this convo and subsequent earth shattering contributions to the english language might have never taken place.

saying no. 2

stop stonin!!!!!!

I figured since folk were tired of hearing 'stop hating', i'd throw my own saying out there

Some idiot who i will refrain from naming as to not cause embarassment, thought that "stay spewing venom" was a good look

What do you think?

Stop stonin or

stay spewing venom?




"stop stonin, son,"

"before i have to throw a boulder atya mama"

LOL

So according to Manswers, you can tell a lot about a woman by her breasts


cherry shaped, A cups: perky, fun, but not really down with sex

mellons: they dont like sex, want to be pampered

oranges: they dont enjoy sex, and are lazy (something like that)

pear shaped breasts: they are the fun folks, party people that get it in

this supposedly was indicated by a study (ummm yeah)


I'm not buying it






Why aren't there more anatomically correct dolls damnit???!!!

Ken is walking around without a wee wee

Ain't it bad enough that Barbie is a doctor/lawyer/astronaut/police officer/NASCAR driver/rapper, (yes i said rapper. This heifa has had more than 90 jobs) they couldn't give dude a dick. i mean he deserves at least that right? ain't even askin for no balls. The penis will do.

lookin like Mrs. Bobbit got ahold of him. It's sad really.



I love Sade, but she has a big forehead

move over Rhianna

you were not no. 1



Diana Krall

ever heard of her?

I got put onto her recently

not bad

not bad at all

Check her out on 'Devil May Care'



I love Harry Connick Jr.

he inches out Detective Munch (yes, i said detective Munch. Don't make me have to aim that boulder at your grandma's head)



I download practically all my music. I don't have but three CD's. Yes i know. Support the artists and all that jazz. They ain't goin hungry. I got bills to pay.





This whole pro baseball steroids fiasco is getting on my damn nerves. I don't even follow sports but i know about it. Everybody and they resurrected grandmama is on something.





Joe was on crack

that white dude was crazy

How the hell do you wanna call 5-0 then grab a rifle and head over to SOMEBODY ELSE'S HOUSE and shoot folk for trespassing. Sorry i mean self-defense. That whole bullet wounds in the back thing, uhhh. Maybe they were backing into him with ill intent and he felt the need to protect himself from the bodily harm their spines could inflict. SMH. Now you know dude was just waitin for the perfect opportunity to go shoot him some immigrants. Talkin bout:'Now's my chance.'



I don't play video games.

Not that i think they're the spawn of the devil or anything. It's just that they turn my brothers into the spawn of the devil. They be ready to fight somebody over that mess and they would never let a sistah play. In return, i have shunned them and their love of video games. Video games. ptuh. I spit on you.





Okay. don't laugh. Weezy is sexy. I know. It's crazy. It defies all logic. All science. But yet, it's the truth. What's his secret. I know you've probably grown tired of the word but it's his SWAG factor. Yep it's not a myth. Swag factor can inspire lustful thoughts about even the most grotesque of creatures (not saying that he is but come on. No Will Smith is he.) That being said, he's bangable. Oh oh. I mean he's looking dungongish.





slore slut/whore you can be it at any age

I don't go any damn where really. I'm boring as all hell. plus i got the old school Haitian pops. Need a boatload of immigrants to even head outta state. Nah. I'm exaggerating.

Only need a raft full.





I wanna go on family feud son. But not with my family tho. Ima have to hire some folk. That is not the show for unassimilated immigrants.





I hate when folk use area specific slang like i'm supposed to automatically understand what they're saying. Sometimes i call them on it. Sometimes i just nod and shake my head. I figure I'll just go look it up on urbandictionary.com lata



speakin of lata

that's all for today folks



look out tomorrow for part II