Tuesdays with Toni

excerpts from im conversations
or maybe i just made this shit up
or not

Yeah i know it's not Tuesday
Get over it
Toni 1 is a generic name ima be usin for the other person in these bootleg convos
I'll do these shits everyonce in a while
Sometimes they'll be true to life
Sometimes it's just my multiple personalities surfacing
Sometimes a combo of both
Don't expect anything earth shattering
filler post material here

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toni 1 : Yo yo YO
dejanae411 : ma
(a reference to the reknowned virtuoso violinist Yo-yo Ma. Yep im hot like that.lol. Yall know im all seddity and cultured and knowledgable and shit)
toni 1 : Say homie... what it look like
dejanae411 : like pain
toni 1 : Went to the gym?
dejanae411 : no
toni 1 : Then why are you in pain
dejanae411 : actually was gon go today
dejanae411 : lady issues
dejanae411 : or put less tactfully
dejanae411 : a bloody mess

toni 1 :Oh dear
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(honestly
ima have to marry someone who's immune to period talk
i really do mention it an awful lot
and you know it's gonna be in graphic terms)

If guys had cramps and had to bleed out they dick for 5-7 days
im sure they'd be complaining bout it too
mattafact. Theyda already came up with some way to stop the shit

all this fuckin money spent on viagra and the like

No bastards
put an end to the friggin period
with no ill side effects that can kill me


Ur old ass shouldnt be havin sex no way
If u cant get it up without the pills
thats God way of tellin u to let it go
Your balls hangin to the floor
u smilin now but you gon mess around and catch a heart attack

on to the actual post
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toni 1: What the business is?
dejanae411 : now u already know
toni 1: lol. Just checking
dejanae411 : yeah
dejanae411 : u figured id develop a life today
toni 1 : Anything's possible
dejanae411 : true
dejanae411 : chu doin?
toni 1 : Eating dinner
dejanae411 : nah
dejanae411 : i should go make something
toni 1 : What'd you have in mind?
dejanae411 : i said should
dejanae411 : we both know
dejanae411 : i aint gon do shit
toni 1 : Which is why I said "in mind" as opposed to "gonna cook"
dejanae411 : some friggin spinache salmon and potatoes
toni 1 : Damn
toni 1: You got it like that?
dejanae411 : notice i aint say it was gon be good
dejanae411 : lol
dejanae411 : nah
dejanae411 : its aight
dejanae411 : trial and error my man
dejanae411 : trial and error
toni 1: Well I mean if you gonna do the cookin' I have to wanna eat it
dejanae411 : ha
dejanae411 : u cook?
toni 1 : Yeah
toni 1 : Chicken breast and brown rice

dejanae411 : u mean thats what u cooked today?
dejanae411 : send some over
toni 1 : Yeah that's what I cooked
toni 1 : But yeah I can do a lil' something
dejanae411 : so its headed my way?
toni 1: Depends
dejanae411 : * side eye* on what?
toni 1: On whether or not I feel like it
toni 1 : And I'm taking into consideration all the times you called me a bastard.lol
dejanae411 : well u can add one more to the list
toni 1 : LOL
dejanae411 : u steady laughin at my expense
dejanae411 : i wasnt even hungry til ur selfish ass brought up foos
toni 1 : Now wait a minute... I ain't say a damn thing about foos
dejanae411 : shut the hell up
dejanae411 : u know wat i meant
toni 1 : Such hostility
dejanae411 : well thats what happens when im hungry
toni 1 : Getcha grub on yet?
dejanae411 : so u just left me hangin
toni 1 : I asked if you gotcha grub on
toni 1 : This relationship ain't turnin' out so good
dejanae411 : u the one aint doin ur part
toni 1 : I'll do better if you act right
dejanae411 : whatnahells that supposed to mean?
toni 1 : I had to cook my own dinner
toni 1 : Let this be the last.lol
dejanae411 : man
dejanae411 : u aint good for nothin
toni 1 : But you still feelin' the kid
toni 1 : Man look - I put all my other 17 wives off for YOU. You better make it worth the while
dejanae411 : im already in talks with a divorce lawyer
dejanae411 : he's cutthroat
dejanae411 : ill leave u with 20 percent tho

toni 1 : What is it with you and 20%?
(i'm always sayin as his bootleg fictional manager, im entitled to twenty percent of everything)
dejanae411 : this time its u and the 20%
toni 1 : That's that BS
toni 1 : And I was about to talk with you about naming the first kid and evrything
dejanae411 : ha
dejanae411 : like u'd have a say
toni 1 : lol
toni 1 : So what's the first kid's name
dejanae411 : Zoe
toni 1 : Zoe Battleaxe?
dejanae411 : Charisma
toni 1 :Zoe Charisma Battleaxe...
toni 1 : You know, I can roll with that
dejanae411 : thats ur last name?
toni 1 : Battleaxe?
toni 1: Yeah
dejanae411 : meh
dejanae411 : the kids gon have mine
toni 1 : Shit
toni 1: Lemme have yours
toni 1: Toni Jean
dejanae411 : thas wassup
dejanae411 : ima wear the pants in this shit

toni 1: I ain't gonna be yo bitch or nothin'
dejanae411 : it'll be fun
dejanae411 : i promise
toni 1 : Will you be in black leather at any time?
dejanae411 : puahahaha
dejanae411 : maybe
toni 1 : Cuz I mean if that's the case, I can enjoy THAT
toni 1 : Wait... I think I said too much
dejanae411 jean : puahahaa
dejanae411 jean : a lil SnM aint neva hurt nobody

toni 1 : Well hell nah
toni 1 : Whip me and we fightin
toni 1 : But I think you'd look nice in black leather
dejanae411 : lol
dejanae411 : umm
dejanae411 : no whippin
dejanae411 : no black leather
toni 1: Darn
toni 1: There goes the fantasy
dejanae411 : im sayin...
dejanae411 jean : if i cant do no whippin
dejanae411 jean : i sure as hell aint wearin no damn leather
dejanae411 jean : shit
toni 1: Well fine
toni : You can whip
toni 1: Just don't get carried away or we gon be like Buster-Douglas
dejanae411 : lol
dejanae411 : u lost me

toni 1 : Buster-Douglas... a famous boxing match
toni 1 : Meaning, if you sting me, I'ma uppercut yo ass
dejanae411 : ok
dejanae411 : u takin this SnM thing a bit too far man
dejanae411 : i aint tryna end up in no hospital
toni 1 : lol
toni 1 : I'm just saying be gentle
toni 1 : Careful with the cat o' nine tails
toni 1 : Don't be leavin' welts and shit
dejanae411 : welts can be hot tho
toni 1 : For who?
toni 1 : You or me?
dejanae411 : as long as they aint on me
dejanae411 : theyre sexy as hell
dejanae411 : whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
dejanae411 : lol
toni 1 : issues. lol
dejanae411 : yeah
dejanae411 : and ur perfectly sane
toni 1 : Well hey
toni 1 : I'm close
dejanae411 : uh huh
toni 1 : You the one talkin' about whippin' people
dejanae411 : excuse me
dejanae411 : aint nothin wrong with that
toni 1 : So be for real... do you get off on that shit?
dejanae411 : well it looks like fun
dejanae411 : why u hatin
toni 1 : Seriously you like that?
toni 1 : I'm not hatin', I'm just askin'
dejanae411 : u actin like i said i wanna lock folk in a dungeon or something
dejanae411 : light SnM looks interesting
toni 1 : Ok
toni 1 : I can get down with the light stuff
toni : nah, cuz white folk been done chained a nigga to a wall and put a tennis ball in they mouth and shit
dejanae411 : dang bruh. u went and took it in a whole nother direction
toni 1 : I'm just saying, lol
toni 1 : That's the shit they do
toni 1 : But yeah, the light shit is cool
dejanae411 : lollllllllll
toni 1 : Anyways
toni 1 : Before this convo goes in a whole nother route
toni 1 : What the hell are YOU doing?
dejanae411 : conversatin
toni 1 : With...
dejanae411 : king Kong.

dejanae411 : yo son
dejanae411 : u watch cnn?
toni 1 : My son?
toni 1 : Nah
dejanae411 : boooooo
toni 1 : What is this fascination with CNN?
dejanae411 : man
dejanae411 : its fyah
dejanae411 : and anderson cooper

dejanae411 : whooooo
dejanae411 : sexy
toni 1 : Ain't he gay?
dejanae411 : shut up blashphemer
dejanae411 : when u bring me a gay sex tape of him
dejanae411 : then ill believe that shit
dejanae411 : You know what? im takin the kid and leavin
dejanae411 : u mad neglectful
toni 1 : What kid?
toni 1 : What?
toni 1 : Oh
toni 1 : You whinin'
dejanae411 : *signing divorce papers*
toni 1 : I'm gettin' the couch
dejanae411 : nope
dejanae411 : all u get is the dishes
toni 1 : FUCK THAT
toni 1 : them fake ass Wal-Mart shits
toni 1 : Why you tryin' to leave?
toni 1 : You never had it so good
dejanae411 : puahahahaha
dejanae411 : shows wat u know
dejanae411 : i been gettin me some on the side

dejanae411 : and lemme tell u.......
toni 1 : You know...
toni 1 : Things did feel different...
toni 1 : MAN FUCK THAT. We gon scrap
dejanae411 : dont forget
dejanae411 : i can kill u and use the battered wives defense.
go Thin line Between Love and Hate on ur ass