Music: vernacular of the soul


Friday, March 28, 2008

Tuesdays with Toni

excerpts from im conversations
or maybe i just made this shit up
or not

Yeah i know it's not Tuesday
Get over it
Toni 1 is a generic name ima be usin for the other person in these bootleg convos
I'll do these shits everyonce in a while
Sometimes they'll be true to life
Sometimes it's just my multiple personalities surfacing
Sometimes a combo of both
Don't expect anything earth shattering
filler post material here


toni 1 : Yo yo YO
dejanae411 : ma
(a reference to the reknowned virtuoso violinist Yo-yo Ma. Yep im hot like Yall know im all seddity and cultured and knowledgable and shit)
toni 1 : Say homie... what it look like
dejanae411 : like pain
toni 1 : Went to the gym?
dejanae411 : no
toni 1 : Then why are you in pain
dejanae411 : actually was gon go today
dejanae411 : lady issues
dejanae411 : or put less tactfully
dejanae411 : a bloody mess

toni 1 :Oh dear

ima have to marry someone who's immune to period talk
i really do mention it an awful lot
and you know it's gonna be in graphic terms)

If guys had cramps and had to bleed out they dick for 5-7 days
im sure they'd be complaining bout it too
mattafact. Theyda already came up with some way to stop the shit

all this fuckin money spent on viagra and the like

No bastards
put an end to the friggin period
with no ill side effects that can kill me

Ur old ass shouldnt be havin sex no way
If u cant get it up without the pills
thats God way of tellin u to let it go
Your balls hangin to the floor
u smilin now but you gon mess around and catch a heart attack

on to the actual post

toni 1: What the business is?
dejanae411 : now u already know
toni 1: lol. Just checking
dejanae411 : yeah
dejanae411 : u figured id develop a life today
toni 1 : Anything's possible
dejanae411 : true
dejanae411 : chu doin?
toni 1 : Eating dinner
dejanae411 : nah
dejanae411 : i should go make something
toni 1 : What'd you have in mind?
dejanae411 : i said should
dejanae411 : we both know
dejanae411 : i aint gon do shit
toni 1 : Which is why I said "in mind" as opposed to "gonna cook"
dejanae411 : some friggin spinache salmon and potatoes
toni 1 : Damn
toni 1: You got it like that?
dejanae411 : notice i aint say it was gon be good
dejanae411 : lol
dejanae411 : nah
dejanae411 : its aight
dejanae411 : trial and error my man
dejanae411 : trial and error
toni 1: Well I mean if you gonna do the cookin' I have to wanna eat it
dejanae411 : ha
dejanae411 : u cook?
toni 1 : Yeah
toni 1 : Chicken breast and brown rice

dejanae411 : u mean thats what u cooked today?
dejanae411 : send some over
toni 1 : Yeah that's what I cooked
toni 1 : But yeah I can do a lil' something
dejanae411 : so its headed my way?
toni 1: Depends
dejanae411 : * side eye* on what?
toni 1: On whether or not I feel like it
toni 1 : And I'm taking into consideration all the times you called me a
dejanae411 : well u can add one more to the list
toni 1 : LOL
dejanae411 : u steady laughin at my expense
dejanae411 : i wasnt even hungry til ur selfish ass brought up foos
toni 1 : Now wait a minute... I ain't say a damn thing about foos
dejanae411 : shut the hell up
dejanae411 : u know wat i meant
toni 1 : Such hostility
dejanae411 : well thats what happens when im hungry
toni 1 : Getcha grub on yet?
dejanae411 : so u just left me hangin
toni 1 : I asked if you gotcha grub on
toni 1 : This relationship ain't turnin' out so good
dejanae411 : u the one aint doin ur part
toni 1 : I'll do better if you act right
dejanae411 : whatnahells that supposed to mean?
toni 1 : I had to cook my own dinner
toni 1 : Let this be the
dejanae411 : man
dejanae411 : u aint good for nothin
toni 1 : But you still feelin' the kid
toni 1 : Man look - I put all my other 17 wives off for YOU. You better make it worth the while
dejanae411 : im already in talks with a divorce lawyer
dejanae411 : he's cutthroat
dejanae411 : ill leave u with 20 percent tho

toni 1 : What is it with you and 20%?
(i'm always sayin as his bootleg fictional manager, im entitled to twenty percent of everything)
dejanae411 : this time its u and the 20%
toni 1 : That's that BS
toni 1 : And I was about to talk with you about naming the first kid and evrything
dejanae411 : ha
dejanae411 : like u'd have a say
toni 1 : lol
toni 1 : So what's the first kid's name
dejanae411 : Zoe
toni 1 : Zoe Battleaxe?
dejanae411 : Charisma
toni 1 :Zoe Charisma Battleaxe...
toni 1 : You know, I can roll with that
dejanae411 : thats ur last name?
toni 1 : Battleaxe?
toni 1: Yeah
dejanae411 : meh
dejanae411 : the kids gon have mine
toni 1 : Shit
toni 1: Lemme have yours
toni 1: Toni Jean
dejanae411 : thas wassup
dejanae411 : ima wear the pants in this shit

toni 1: I ain't gonna be yo bitch or nothin'
dejanae411 : it'll be fun
dejanae411 : i promise
toni 1 : Will you be in black leather at any time?
dejanae411 : puahahaha
dejanae411 : maybe
toni 1 : Cuz I mean if that's the case, I can enjoy THAT
toni 1 : Wait... I think I said too much
dejanae411 jean : puahahaa
dejanae411 jean : a lil SnM aint neva hurt nobody

toni 1 : Well hell nah
toni 1 : Whip me and we fightin
toni 1 : But I think you'd look nice in black leather
dejanae411 : lol
dejanae411 : umm
dejanae411 : no whippin
dejanae411 : no black leather
toni 1: Darn
toni 1: There goes the fantasy
dejanae411 : im sayin...
dejanae411 jean : if i cant do no whippin
dejanae411 jean : i sure as hell aint wearin no damn leather
dejanae411 jean : shit
toni 1: Well fine
toni : You can whip
toni 1: Just don't get carried away or we gon be like Buster-Douglas
dejanae411 : lol
dejanae411 : u lost me

toni 1 : Buster-Douglas... a famous boxing match
toni 1 : Meaning, if you sting me, I'ma uppercut yo ass
dejanae411 : ok
dejanae411 : u takin this SnM thing a bit too far man
dejanae411 : i aint tryna end up in no hospital
toni 1 : lol
toni 1 : I'm just saying be gentle
toni 1 : Careful with the cat o' nine tails
toni 1 : Don't be leavin' welts and shit
dejanae411 : welts can be hot tho
toni 1 : For who?
toni 1 : You or me?
dejanae411 : as long as they aint on me
dejanae411 : theyre sexy as hell
dejanae411 : whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
dejanae411 : lol
toni 1 : issues. lol
dejanae411 : yeah
dejanae411 : and ur perfectly sane
toni 1 : Well hey
toni 1 : I'm close
dejanae411 : uh huh
toni 1 : You the one talkin' about whippin' people
dejanae411 : excuse me
dejanae411 : aint nothin wrong with that
toni 1 : So be for real... do you get off on that shit?
dejanae411 : well it looks like fun
dejanae411 : why u hatin
toni 1 : Seriously you like that?
toni 1 : I'm not hatin', I'm just askin'
dejanae411 : u actin like i said i wanna lock folk in a dungeon or something
dejanae411 : light SnM looks interesting
toni 1 : Ok
toni 1 : I can get down with the light stuff
toni : nah, cuz white folk been done chained a nigga to a wall and put a tennis ball in they mouth and shit
dejanae411 : dang bruh. u went and took it in a whole nother direction
toni 1 : I'm just saying, lol
toni 1 : That's the shit they do
toni 1 : But yeah, the light shit is cool
dejanae411 : lollllllllll
toni 1 : Anyways
toni 1 : Before this convo goes in a whole nother route
toni 1 : What the hell are YOU doing?
dejanae411 : conversatin
toni 1 : With...
dejanae411 : king Kong.

dejanae411 : yo son
dejanae411 : u watch cnn?
toni 1 : My son?
toni 1 : Nah
dejanae411 : boooooo
toni 1 : What is this fascination with CNN?
dejanae411 : man
dejanae411 : its fyah
dejanae411 : and anderson cooper

dejanae411 : whooooo
dejanae411 : sexy
toni 1 : Ain't he gay?
dejanae411 : shut up blashphemer
dejanae411 : when u bring me a gay sex tape of him
dejanae411 : then ill believe that shit
dejanae411 : You know what? im takin the kid and leavin
dejanae411 : u mad neglectful
toni 1 : What kid?
toni 1 : What?
toni 1 : Oh
toni 1 : You whinin'
dejanae411 : *signing divorce papers*
toni 1 : I'm gettin' the couch
dejanae411 : nope
dejanae411 : all u get is the dishes
toni 1 : FUCK THAT
toni 1 : them fake ass Wal-Mart shits
toni 1 : Why you tryin' to leave?
toni 1 : You never had it so good
dejanae411 : puahahahaha
dejanae411 : shows wat u know
dejanae411 : i been gettin me some on the side

dejanae411 : and lemme tell u.......
toni 1 : You know...
toni 1 : Things did feel different...
toni 1 : MAN FUCK THAT. We gon scrap
dejanae411 : dont forget
dejanae411 : i can kill u and use the battered wives defense.
go Thin line Between Love and Hate on ur ass

27 public opinion:

MsRoxy said...

dejanae411 : shows wat u know
dejanae411 : i been gettin me some on the side
dejanae411 : and lemme tell u.......
toni 1 : You know...
toni 1 : Things did feel different...
toni 1 : MAN FUCK THAT. We gon scrap


Love the witty banter. Yay Friday Filler.

karrie b. said...

cute convo. chicken n brown rice. made me hungry...


Opinionated Diva said...

toni 1 : You know...
toni 1 : Things did feel different...

You are too creative for your own good! LOL.

Reminds me of my me vs. me post!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

not ye old lady issues....i wont touch this one but i will say have a great weekend

Don said...

toni 1 : Damn
toni 1: You got it like that?
dejanae411 : notice i aint say it was gon be good
dejanae411 : lol

Too funny.

The other thing your friend said that had me laughing was when she said, "Buster-Douglas. A famous boxing match."

What happened to Da Art of Storytellin' on the jukebox?

Pan/Thanatos said...

Man, that's funny. A lifetime summed up in a handful of IM's.
I see why you like Dali.

dejanae said...

u know witty banter is my

i know
and his fool ass wasnt even tryna come bring some over

opinionated diva:
i aint say if it was onea them alternate personality convos or not tho
something to think

if uda gave it a second u could got past the lady issues
wit ur non-reading driveby commenting ass

it was a HE man
i aint know what that was
Buster -douglas who?
was it that famous?

ima put it back up forya

What u know bout Dali?
lemme find out

Don said...

Oh, my bad, I thought it was a female by the "i."

I had to sneak back over to your blog after I saw your comments in my inbox. I damn near fell out the chair laughing. I think you know which comment I refer to. lol. You are that raw ish fo' real.

I was laughing @ the buster-douglas comment not because you didn't know what he was saying. I was laughing because Buster- Douglas is just one dude's name. Usually a person will say Tyson-Buster Douglas. That all.

Thanks for putting that song back up. I like the track and its flow.

Brianna said...

anderson cooper does have a special somethin huh?

soumynona said...

"Your balls hangin to the floor
u smilin now but you gon mess around and catch a heart attack"


Your mind is off the chain...witty banter is rather apropos

Pajnstl said...

Rofl @ "shut up blashphemer" LMAO
and Anderson is Hot!!

1/3 of what I used to be said...

LOL this sounds like the convos I have with my bestfriend. Funny filler post lol

Canon Adonis said...

wow... just wow... s&m talk had me done!

mp1 v.8.0 said...

so u even more psycho on im, huh??
I might have 2 get @ you more often

Ms Sula said...

Filler, uh?

And you talkin' about no guys with potential!

Just forget about Cooper...He's mine! :)

M. Raye Turner (aka L-Boogie) said...

dejanae411 : ima wear the pants in this shit

Girl I have never met you but I got love for you like a sista!
ALWAYS (no pun intended) DO YOU!
fun-e as hell - love da post

idk... said...

at least you didn't scare him away with the period talk lol...

this was one funny convo!

Brittany_83 said...

I do period talk as well. Sometimes I don't even realize it until after I say it. Its a part of life.

Mizrepresent said...

gurl you are crazy as hell...but you already said that right...loved it, had me rolling.

Thanks again for enlightening my night.

Period talk - that ish hurts...for real...cramps and ...well you know, no fun in that.

Have a great weekend!

Pan/Thanatos said...

Dali is one of my favorite artists.
Too bad there's only a couple of his works here in NYC.

Rashan Jamal said...

I'm just glad my IM's didn't make the cut. LOL Stop with the period talk.. we don't wanna hear that shit. Shall I tell you about the dump I took yesterday? LOL

marky said...

god youre prolific girl i like the pics will read it all later....bettie page....mmmmmmhmmmmm

Obinwanne said...

i passed thru here...nice post nice blog..

dejanae said...

don: enlighten me
what comments?
u know i be sayin too much shit for my own good

yes he does
indeed he does

i try man
i cant regale yall with any risque stories
i betta come with something

paj:im just sayin...
how he gon come at me with that mess?

u n ur best friend huh?


u do that
dont be surprised if u seeit up here tho

u need to hush
u tryna take all my mens

i try hon
cant nobody do it betta

a lil period talk is good for them
"woman the fuck up" i say


u have u a great weekend too hon

i like u

just cuz u said that, it's gon go up
go head.tell me bout the dump
i aint scurred

u using the big
ilove it
talk vocabulary to me baby

thnx man
preciate it
see u round

marky said...

Woo Hoo. Alright! The big words I whisper in Dejanaes ear give her the warmies. I be gettin my dictionary out now.

dejanae said...

pull out that dictionary daddy ;)

NYAmicas said...

Di, why not date this Toni dude, he sounds cool. And if he is your other still applies.