Music: vernacular of the soul


dj

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Random Tandem




i talk too damn much
i cant help it
i love to hear myself speak
ill argue u down about the most mundane shit just becuz
i can never be wrong
i just cant
not because i don't want to
simply becuz it is not possible

My husband would wish atleast a thousand lil deaths upon me evryday

the makeup sex would be fyah tho
what?
all that passion....
im getting tingly just thinkin about it



he might not like my bootleg dirty talk tho
ima be like
yeah bitch
take that
who's ur mama
say my motherfuckin name
what??!?!?!
That's mistress Diana to you
now put on this here collar

nothing too hardcore
lmao
im not even playin
i know yall guys are like
"What kinda power trip is this bitch on?!?!?!?!?"
Don't worry
i'll return the favor

as long as he aint tryin nona that golden shower, dirty sanchez,type shit
and i refuse to do any position that could get my ass killed
or that i could get stuck in and have to worry bout explaining shit to the paramedics once they arrive




I have issues
i'm giving myself up til the age of 50 to get married
that's the real time limit
not an exaggerated one
Tho i will be mad as hell if i'm 50 and still a single virgin
That's not a friggin good look man
ima go hole myself up in some dark room in the attic and just start rocking gently back and forth. Im sure sometime later i'll commence to talkin to myself per usual.

You are fine just the way you are
So what ur ole dried up ass is still single
You fly girl
Come on. I aint tryna be stuck up here wit ur pathetic ass forever
Go do something man
Take a shower
change your dang drawers
get a makeover
OLILF here i come
(That's 'old lady i'd like to fuck' by the way)
That's it
You can do it
Now go do your damn hair
Dreds are cool and shit but i dont think that's the look you were going for



If worse comes to worse ima arrange me onea them green card marriages
What
You know how many Haitian folk tryna come over here?
OKay. Yall know i'd never actually do that shit right?
I know of two grown folk who have
Both them shits ended in disaster
Besides
I'm not really tryna marry a fresh off the boat Haitian
I mean i love my folk and all
but....
No thanks
Folk gon get mad when u tellem to cook their own damn meal every once in a while
Gon ask me why i cant hook up no Haitian dishes
Gon try to lay his hands on me when i inevitably curse his mother out for being an interfering bitch
(not to her face of course)

I laugh when i see a guy crying
even if i get up to the actual wedding ceremony
im liable to simultaneously point, laff and shake my head at him if dude starts droppin tears
okay i know we want dudes to be caring and sensitive and shit
thats nice
really it is
but ive never in my life cried tears of joy
so if he does, i'm straight clowning

I say i want an aggressive dude but i notice that i don't respond to an aggressive approach
makes no sense
but that's the way it is
I'd rather ease into it
the whole friends to lovers thing


I need a man with an ass
no pancake shit please
its not cute


can you make your booty clap?
i've tried
it's sad really
i can achieve the bootleg motion
but no bootleg sound
how do they do it??
can yall tell i got too much time on my damn hands?

Guys?
been to a strip club?
How was it?


oral sex
it's still sex right?
Sound like a dumbass question?
I think so
what the fuck @ folk getting down with th oral but saying they aint had sex
or actin all holier than though and talkin bout saving themselves
Bitch
I'd think having a dude's dick in your mouth would be about as intimate a moment as can be shared between two folk
Do you think someone should still call themself a virgin if they've had oral sex?


I was watchin Oprah one day and they was talkin bout these rainbow/lipstick parties
some shit like that they called it
girls wearin different shades of lipstick and
hole up
im bout to look it up forya


im back
A type of party where several girls wear a different color of lipstick then each proceeds to give one or more guys a blow job. The multiple of colors left on each guy's penis resembles a rainbow.
aint that some shit
(You know that's a white folk thing .lol
no offense to yall melanin-challenged folk.yall know u be doin some crazy shit. Yeah i know. us too)
just a mess


Question time
you know my virgin ass aint did shit
i gotta live vicariously through yall
get to answering
if u aint scared that is

that was a pathetic attempt at reverse psychology



the first time you had oral sex...
was it the same time you had actual sex?(for lack of a better term)
how old were you?
who with?
where?
used protection?
how was it?
how long did it last?
still talk to the person?

ever slept with a celebrity?
got kicked out of a club?
hired a stripper/exotic dancer?
been to a sex show?
solicited a prostitute?
solicited a gigolo?

edit:
some vajayjay talk
yesterday when i said i aint shaved i was talkin bout my legs folk
OKAY
im not all overgrown down there
(the vajayjay i mean. Why do i have an issue saying pussy? I mean it's the same shit right?)
the only case when deforestation is cool

Ladies:
how do yall keep it?

fellas: how do yall like it?
naked?
a lil landing strip?lol
slightly bushy?
or are u of the 'don't mess with perfection' variety?

dirty talk in the bedroom:
are there limits?
should there be limits?
im sayin...
if u can call me a bitch, why can't i call u one
no harm.no foul
What can the other person just not say?
what words will get u hot in a second?

43 public opinion:

Opinionated Diva said...

You have a new fan - me! You are just hilariously all over the place, but so interesting.

I started answering the questions and realized this is waaaaaaaaay more than I want to share at this time!

I will say that my first time getting oral was not the first time i had sex...not telling how young i was though!

Out of the last group of questions...two are yes and all others are no.

The Jaded NYer said...

I'm going to answer these (sorry mom!)

>the first time you had oral sex...
was it the same time you had actual sex?(for lack of a better term) nope

>how old were you? 18

>who with? my boyfriend

>where? that's top secret

>used protection? no...damn, that sounds bad...

>how was it? interesting

>how long did it last? who even remembers

>still talk to the person? he's one of my best friends today

>ever slept with a celebrity? I wish! Boris, honey, CALL ME!

>got kicked out of a club? only 'cuz it was time to shut it down LOL

>hired a stripper/exotic dancer? Eww, no

>been to a sex show? Eww, yes

>solicited a prostitute? NO!

>solicited a gigolo? Double NO!

Sass said...

omg you are out of your mind!! lmao i don't even know where to begin, but guaranteed, with most men, if you call them a bitch while doing the do, that steel pole will turn to a worm. a good friend of mine tried it, its proven lol

Qucifer said...

BWAHAHAHAHH
Besides
I'm not really tryna marry a fresh off the boat Haitian
I mean i love my folk and all
but....
No thanks

You . Are. So wrong... I don't
blame you though, my mom stays asking me if I would do it, marry someone to help with the papers (no ma'am)

*sigh* let's NOT get my bog ass mouth started in the topic of sex, cause I WILL stay on it and be tmi all over your shit, god that's half my blogging material right there!


------------------ now then


the first time you had oral sex: a week before my 21st bday

was it the same time you had actual sex?(for lack of a better term): yes, I just finally decided to stop masturbating (which i had been doing since I was psshhh 11? 12? and just go for it, I was well read on the subject etc, I just told the dude to let me practice it all on him

how old were you?: 20 or is it 21 if it was a few weeks before?

who with? a Hot azz Cuban-Pr marine

where? My place...outside

used protection? No (i know horrible... but , um... you dont get preggo there)

how was it? Excellent!, I surely had my way with that man

how long did it last? PLENTY!

still talk to the person? NO Ma'am he got shipped out after a while

ever slept with a celebrity? NO and quiet frankly it doesn't make my ladybits tingle

got kicked out of a club? A male strip club for laughing at the dudes and not giving them money

hired a stripper/exotic dancer? YUCK
I honestly find them places sad and cheap and lame

been to a sex show? Yes!

solicited a prostitute? No but been asked to have sex for money (said no thanks)

solicited a gigolo? When I'm 45 I plan to

lea78 said...

can you make your booty clap?
i've tried
it's sad really
i can achieve the bootleg motion
but no bootleg sound
how do they do it??
can yall tell i got too much time on my damn hands?
-----------------------------------
man i practice this in the mirror so much, i thought i was the only nutcase doing this. LOL but I can't make the thunder clap. Let me start by saying I love this blog, girl you talk about so many dif things all at one time and it is just so exciting. now to the questions

First time I uhh sucked a d#ck I cried like a baby, it was about 5 years after my lil cherry got popped. I was 18 and head over heels in love with my future baby daddy. He told me to stop crying because I was a woman now. I flipped out at that because how does a d&ck in your mouth make you a woman. Anyway we were at my aunt's house, no protection, I still talk and s%ck him off just about every day. Never got with a celeb and no to all the rest. Male strippers give me the creeps. I just do not want a man who can shake his ass in a thong better than me

1/3 of what I used to be said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
1/3 of what I used to be said...

Lol I think I talk to much too sometimes( I dont talk to myself though..or I'm not willing to admit I do lol)

Lipstick party?? wow lol it was braclets when I was in high school. Now its fingernail polish. Kids need to find something to do with their time..you know actually read or something.

I'm not even answering them questions lol I still wonder why the hell I was so curious about sex. overrated lol(sorry a little bitter lol) ok let me go before I tell on myself lol

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

this post was hilarious. so many questions all over...anyhoo, my mum would put me over her knee if i answered them-lol!

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

girl u are a mess, ill answer a couple.

the first time you had oral sex...
was it the same time you had actual sex?(for lack of a better term) yh
how old were you? 16
who with? old friend
where?hotel
used protection?yh
how was it? aight
how long did it last? cant remember i was off my head
still talk to the person?nah

DiamondsR4eva said...

I think I'll plead the 5th on this one 0 :)

I didn't know you lived in Virginia though it's such a nice place but I hope to find a better state of residence:p

M. Raye Turner (aka L-Boogie) said...

awh damn! you don snapped cuz!!!!
like whoa and wow!
I just stopped by to show so luv and don got nervous up in my office - roflmao!!!!
but...
i ain't mad at'cha!

The Jaded NYer said...

Why oh why did I come back here? Now there are MORE questions? You know I can't resist. Except this time, I'm gonna have to pass on the more personal ones- I'm not THAT much of an open book...

dirty talk in the bedroom:
>are there limits? YES

>should there be limits? YES

>What can the other person just not say? Don't ask me to call you "daddy" or "Papi" or call me "Mami" because EWWWW- that's just gross!

>what words will get u hot in a second? well if I tell 'em they ain't gonna work for it LOL

B_More BAP Life said...

@ I say i want an aggressive dude but i notice that i don't respond to an aggressive approach
makes no sense
but that's the way it is
I'd rather ease into it
the whole friends to lovers thing


I completely agree!

swag_ambassador said...

fellas: how do yall like it.? maintained is the key... most females I have come across are either completly shaved or have something well kept.. i mean you gotta keep that clean if you want me anywhere on yo anatomy..

dirty talk in the bedroom:
are there limits?
i would say comfort level equals limits.. but at the same rate, some folks cant be convincing and if you say somethin and it sounds like a sesame street character, im not turned on anymore.. lol old gf used to say "daddy" but wayyy too much in one session.. killed all game.

words dont really get me hot.. eye contact, and those real moans that u kno are uncontrollable, those work.

Sting said...

First time on here. The way u write is so random, but i like it cos it's different.

One Man’s Opinion said...

You so funny. I'mma pray for you and you. LOL

Jackie Edwards said...

As usual, your stuff is deep! You get me every time...my mouth agape, saying oh no she didn't and smiling, oh yes she did. LOL!!!

smoking guns said...

I can't believe ain't nobody tapped that azz yet.

dejanae said...

opinionated diva:
ha
thnx

how u gon start answering the questions then leave me hangin tho?

ima go head assume the yeses are
u solicited a gigolo
and got kicked out of a club



jaded nyer:
lol
thnx for answering the edit questions too
i thought 'daddy' was onea the most popular ones

sass:
for everyonea the limp ones
somebody's gon enjoy that shit

qucifer:
outside?
thas wassup
now why u gon laff @ the male strippers?

lea78:
thnx 4 the love
lol@ not wanting a man who shakes his ass better than u...true

1/3:
these kids
i dont know whats gotten into them
bitter? i want the story (my nosey ass)

pcd:
ur mama aint gon know
go head
tell it


fresh and fab:
16?
i feel like an old maid now

diamondsr4eva:
im slow
it took me while to figure out what the hell u meant
i was like: Virginia? heifa i live in bk
smh

m.raye turner:
u aint get fired
it's all good

bmorebap:
that would be the ideal situation

swag:
hairy dont necessarily mean dirty
im just sayin...
moaning
got it

sting:
*waves*
gracias
for droppin by

jackie edwards:
ha
i try

smoking guns:
ummm
thnx...
i think
why u got ur blog on private?

Desy said...

i had to take a break and come back.... this was epic and hilarity all in the same moment...

you already know my when it comes to sex so i don't need to worry about tellin you (nosey...lol)

do you really wanna know how i keep it? wow! i think we're close enough, but the world can see this....lol... i don't think i'm ready... i'll just hint- clippers lvl 1

i'm all about dirty talk- but i don't think i can handle bein called a bitch; then again, i'd have to be in the moment. who knows, i might like it...

Rashan Jamal said...

Not sure why I'm answering these, but here goes...

The first time you had oral sex...
was it the same time you had actual sex?(for lack of a better term) Nope

how old were you? 17

who with? Somebody you don't know

where? Her mama's living room

used protection? Yep

how was it? Aiight, I guess. I didn't know any better.

how long did it last? Don't know, but not long

still talk to the person? Nope

ever slept with a celebrity? Not unless you count a stripper a celebrity, I'm kidding. No

got kicked out of a club? Yep

hired a stripper/exotic dancer? I just go to the clubs

been to a sex show? Nope

solicited a prostitute? Never paid for sex.

solicited a gigolo? That's gay, so no

fellas: how do yall like it?
I dont like naked. I like to know my partners are of age. Leave something there

dirty talk in the bedroom:
are there limits? yes
should there be limits? be dirty enough to turn me on, but not dirty enough to turn me off.

im sayin...
if u can call me a bitch, why can't i call u one I don't call women bitches. And you cant do it because thats emasculating.

What can the other person just not say? I don't know but I'll know when I hear it.

dejanae said...

one man's opinion:
What u tryna say?
ima heathen?

rashan:
u answering becuz i asked u too
so u solicited the prostitute but she payed you?

IVENTBYBLOGGING said...

babysis...exactly HOW MANY VOICES were telling you what to type, lol???? i love your flow-your posts are always so unexpected.


AND i'm proud of you for keeping yourself..my daughter'll be 20 in a couple of mos and she's a virgin AND PROUD! she said and I quote: "looking at my friends and my cousins...I think sex makes u STUPID and do STUPID things. "

i admitted to her i was one of the stupid girls who got sprung (by her father) and did stupid stuff (i did not elaborate).

yeah sanctimonious pious people kill me looking down on people who have had sex w/penetration...but'll stick a penis in their mouth or vice versa in a heartbeat. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT???? Let's just say when I tried that I was almost 30.....sure wasn't a kid ok?? and was grossed out! smh

12kyle said...

was it the same time you had actual sex?(for lack of a better term)no

how old were you? 20

who with? girlfriend

where? tha crib

used protection? no

how was it? aiiiight

how long did it last? 15 mins

still talk to the person? hellllll naw. lol

ever slept with a celebrity? yes. Sanaa Lathan

got kicked out of a club? no

hired a stripper/exotic dancer? no

been to a sex show? no

solicited a prostitute? no

solicited a gigolo? no

Good post!! I added you to my blog crew.

btw...the Roots joint is sick on this blog

you really a virgin? I didn't think that they still existed. lol

t.r.b said...

dang, so you get wild over here hunh?

okay, laissez le bon temps rouler;)

dejanae said...

desy:
i mean u never know u might love it.lol
especially if ur role-playing

ivent:
there are only two now
there were like 10 voices when i was younger
be happy they decreased in number
you've got an intelligent daughter
who knows she can learn from others mistakes

12kyle:
you mean u slept with a Sanaa poster, right?
thnx for blogrolling a sister
and yeah
im utterly lacking in experience.lol

dejanae said...

trb:
dang, so you get wild over here hunh?

nah
not really
just inquisitive
look @ u coming with the worldly flair

Eb the Celeb said...

OMG- WHY DID I JUST TELL SOMEONE YESTERDAY THAT I TALK TOO MUCH AFTER I TOLD THEM SOMETHING THAT I DIDNT WANT THEM TO KNOW... GOSH I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS.

ANYWHO... ORAL SEXY DYNAMIC IS POSTED TODAY... SO ITS A LOT OF VA-JAY-JAY TALK GOING ON IN THE BLOGOSPHERE

Qucifer said...

oOHHh I come back and there is more???

Ladies:
how do yall keep it? NO HAIR, none smooth, I have a little surprise down there so I like bare, shit I have a hard issue with even seeing arm hair ON ME (I like my men with hair even in the knuckles )


dirty talk in the bedroom:Yes, Yes pleassseee

are there limits? No

should there be limits? Not for me maybe for other people

im sayin...
if u can call me a bitch, why can't i call u one
no harm.no foul: Correct

What can the other person just not say?: Honestly there is nothing I rather like it rough, expressive shit talkers


what words will get u hot in a second? This is not stuff I should say outside the bedroom, literally

Don said...

Good stuff, deja.

I'm trippin' on you making your booty clap. You must have a nice *ss.

First time I had oral: 17 years old, it was no big deal. She didn't know what she was doing

First time I gave oral: I was 22 years old. She said I didn't know what I was doing.


And I agree, the golden shower wouldn't be a good look.

Don said...

Mannnnnn, Andre 3000 is spittin' hot fire like Dylon...on Da Art of Storytellin.

Always.Funky.Fresh said...

here you go again with yo' curious ass...

the first time you had oral sex..
was it the same time you had actual sex? (for lack of a better term) nope
how old were you? 18
who with? girlfriend at the time
where? my bedroom in my mom's apartment. funny shit, people were home. it was late tho'.
used protection? nope
how was it? a'ight.
how long did it last? who knows.
still talk to the person? nah

ever slept with a celebrity? do my dreams count?
got kicked out of a club? nah homie
hired a stripper/exotic dancer? for me personally no. for a bachelor party---yup.
been to a sex show? do people sexing in the same room as you count?
solicited a prostitute? hahahahahaha...i was in the car while someone solicited...i'm cracking up...
solicited a gigolo? n/a


dirty talk in the bedroom:
are there limits? naaaaah
should there be limits? naaaaah

Pan/Thanatos said...

Great freestyle post. Shows you've got both introverted and extroverted insight.
I'll pass on the questions though =)

Pink-satin said...

lol at the randomness!!!!!

Mizrepresent said...

first time had - no
how old were you - 21
used protection - no
how was it - weird, scary, exciting
still talk to the person - no
ever slept with a celebrity - yep
got kicked out of a club - no
hired a stripper/exotic dancer - no
been to a sex show - no
solicited a prostitute/gigolo - no
how do you keep it - trimmed/ex was serious about that
dirty talk - don't call me bitch

dessex said...

great piece, I'm going to start checkin you out. I was feeling this post. Hot shit shorty

AkaniZZle said...

first time had - yh
how old were you - of age
used protection - yh
how was it - aight, not prepared
still talk to the person - nah
ever slept with a celebrity -nah
got kicked out of a club -nah
hired a stripper/exotic dancer - nah
been to a sex show - no
solicited a prostitute/gigolo - no
dirty talk - nah

im boring i know

karrie b. said...

my last "lover" let me call him a bitch. he was my "love slave"...lmao. well, that's what he called it. he let me slap him in his face, well, he wanted me too, i dunno lol. it was weird @ 1st and then i got used 2 it.

the first time you had oral sex...-ummmm, i was 16
was it the same time you had actual sex?(for lack of a better term)-nope, it was after my virginity was taken
how old were you?-15
who with?-my 1st love
where?-mom's bathroom
used protection?-nope
how was it?-PAINFUL
how long did it last?-a good 5 mins
still talk to the person?-every few months

ever slept with a celebrity?-i wish
got kicked out of a club?-no lol
hired a stripper/exotic dancer?-nooo but i've been to an XXX rated bachelorette pary b 4
been to a sex show?-boooo no
solicited a prostitute?-bahahaha
solicited a gigolo?-NO!

-KB

dejanae said...

eb:
i checked it out
good stuff


qucifer:
a little surprise?
lol
thats wat they callin it now?

don:
meh
the ass is aiiight

i dont get that golden shower shit
who wants to smell like a urinal?
appreciate that u appreciate the playlist

always.funky.fresh:
suuuuuuuuuuure
ur friend was the one soliciting
*side eye*
aaaah one folk with no limits
good look

pan/thanatos:
thnx
*waves*

pink-satin:
it's what im known for

mizrepresent:
u gon say yes to the celebrity uestion but not say who it is?
*grimace*

dessex:
gracias man

akanizzle:
hey
so am i
but glad u said it

karrieb:
woooow
so u into a lil s & m too?

Qucifer said...

aahahaha no chick they call it clit rings, LOL

Roddykat said...

Ok, that's it. You been hanging around e too long. :) LOL
Who am I kidding? this is all you. Good hed with yo bad self. Oh, and you had me fooled. Go figured.

you've the swagger of an xperienced person. Wouldn't know where to start with the questions, so I won't. :)
Diplomatic Immunity!

Peace

dejanae said...

qucifer:
lmaoooooooooooo

roddster:
lol@ the swagger of an xperienced person

diplomatic immunity?
i dont think uve got that clearance level man
we're in the era of the patriot act
u can be compelled to testify

Chanell said...

Oh man, just call.
Too many questions but you should know the answers. Not detail for detail though...
And yes, you will argue over the most mundane things, Love the honesty!
50 yr old virgin! Ha-a sequel!